Woman Come Home

End of Year Family Newsletter

2012-02-17T10:10:00.000-08:00

At a glance - 2011

It’s hard to believe John and I havebeen married twenty-seven years, butit’s true. Aaron has transitioned out ofmarketing for Sleaddventures and isworking as a computer programmerfor John Deere Co. from home; he isliving in our guesthouse. Alexa hasgraduated from high school and isstudying college courses from home.She traveled to Jacksonville, FL tocompete and won third in the nationin a right-to-life speech contest.
Caleb is a freshman in high schooland has surpassed his mother inheight. Nathan’s ziplinegear.comcontinues to grow, adding anexciting new product soon.Nathanael continues as hiswarehouse manager. Nathan andColleen produced a newgranddaughter, Ember Felicity,born January 13th. Naomi andNathanael had a third son,
Wyatt Benjamin, on May 23rd.That makes five grandchildrenfor us. All of our children areliving in Grants Pass.

Alexa's graduation photo Courtesy Josh Eddy

DecemberHappenings

Our month of flurried celebrations included a Messiah sing-along, a Christmasparade, at which we caroled the townspeople; a Masquerade Ball; anothercaroling party; a church Christmas party at the McMurrays’; a whole-familygathering at our house; and Christmas Day services at Household of Faith. Below, you see us at my folks' house for their 61st anniversary.

Below: Ember, 9 months; Wyatt, hours old

Coast trips
John and the three kids spent a week last summer onthe Oregon coast and up the Columbia River. InOctober John and Arden flew up to Portland anddrove from there to Cannon Beach to be part of acouple’s retreat for Household of Faith elders anddeacons from around the country. We live in abeautiful state!

Cape Blanco

Ft. Stevens, the only fort attacked on the mainland by Japanese in WWII--shelled by a submarine

Health update:erythromelalgia and lead poisoning

The year held some all-time highs and lows forArden’s health. Last summer she becamehousebound and finally wheelchair-dependent as herfeet were unbearably hot, red, and swollen,exacerbated by the heat outdoors. She unwittinglymade it worse with ice. After going off the ice coldturkey and going to ER twice with unbearable pain,she saw some improvement. The heat and swellingis still a daily reality managed with cold packs, fans, and a drug called Lyrica (wow! it really works!), but at least she has her mobility and productivity back.Thank the Lord! The cool winter weather also helps greatly. She is also having chelation therapyfor lead poisoning. Results are pending.

Remodeling

Our hobby room got a faceliftwith new windows, laminatefloor, trim and heat pump. Thelaundry room was finished offwith new ceramic-tile floorand cabinets. The kitchen
now has an island—the finalphase of our kitchen add-onproject started two summersago. We have lived in thiswonderful house for sixteen years!

Have a happy and blessed 2012! From the Sleadd Family

Review: Created To Be His Help Meet by Debbie Pearl

2012-02-17T08:35:00.000-08:00

It's been over a year since I finally read this book, so I can look back and say it has made a big difference in my marriage! Created to be His Help Meet by Deb Pearl is a hard-hitter, pulling no punches when it comes to confronting the most common excuses we come up with as wives to justify our poor attitudes towards our husbands.

The most impacting statement in the book that has stuck with me is "You are not your husband's conscience!" That was like a sword to my heart. Here all along I thought I was his conscience, and didn't realize it! That realization alone helped me to back way off on pronouncements about my husband's plans, his time management, etc. I realize they are not for me to correct or change. He is following the Lord, and the Lord will lead him or not, but it's not my game.

I have often tried to protect our family from lack of attention and time on his part, to a fault. Rather than ask questions, I have made pronouncements and judgements. Of course they were not well-received due to the spirit with which I made them. While there are some things I would still like to change, I am so deeply in love with my husband, who for 27 years has faithfully provided for me and has never been at lack for a well-paying job; who has stood by my side through 20 years of illness; who has aggressively led our family in spiritual endeavors and fun-filled adventures. Who am I to complain?

Deb Pearl has pointed out that a man's basic needs really are not so much to whine about. He just wants warm food for his belly, warm clothes for his back, and a warm partner in bed. Is it really so much to ask?

Pearl also addresses the hyper-spiritualizing trends among women today which are not grounded in scripture, calling it the spirit of Jezebel. She paints our lives as women in very practical, down-to-earth terms. Those women who aspire to great heights of spirituality are causing their own discontentment, when a few minutes a day of prayer and Bible study should be sufficient. Grow up, move on, give your man good sex, he's not a pervert. (She also addresses perversion where it is real.) What is the essence of being a true helpmeet if it is not to actually help?

There is one caveat I would offer. Some of her micro-descriptions of male types don't quite ring true. Take them for what they're worth. Her general observations on types are helpful if you don't carry them too far; they are, after all, generalizations.

There is more excellent advice on modesty, childcare, cooking, etc. On the whole, Created to Be His Help Meet is a keeper worth multiple frequent readings and may in time be regarded as a classic in Christian literature. While the issues addressed are especially relevant to our day, those issues have tempted and plagued women throughout history.

CollegePlus is doing great things...

2012-02-16T21:18:00.001-08:00

My daughter is continuing to make great progress towards college credit through CollegePlus!. Her coach, who is named Rachel, calls or Skypes her every two weeks and gives her some very good advice about preparing for the CLEP test she is taking. I somehow suspect Alexa would have given up this attempt at college-at-home without this outside help. Rachel is a wonderful young lady, and there is an emphasis on cultivating Alexa's spiritual growth as well as academic achievement. She asks how she can pray for Alexa specifically, and is very supportive.
If you are interested in knowing more about CollegePlus!, click here. I'll be up front with you--I'm an affiliate with them, so using my link--if you register too--will generate income for me :).

Continued chelation

2012-02-16T21:10:00.001-08:00

So the lead isn't nearly all out, yet. The latest test showed the lead level dropping from 24 to only 22, when it should be below 2. I am going the cheaper route this time, doing oral chelation which also takes longer but is just as effective, I am told. In three months we will test again for progress. i am actually relieved to know this as I had not noticed any change in symptoms, and feared this to be yet another failed treatment.

God is So Good! Getting the Lead Out...

2011-11-29T09:11:00.001-08:00

A few weeks ago I was tested for heavy metals and found I had twelve-times-normal levels of lead in my body. Cadmium was also high, and the naturopath thinks there may be mercury yet to come out in time. I am chelating weekly to remove it all, and I hope this will improve my health. Pray for me please.

A Full Week of Hospitality

2011-09-10T13:09:00.000-07:00

I was stretched to my utmost this week with very fun times of hospitality as well as starting our first week of school.

Every opportunity for opening our home is an opportunity to boast of God's generosity to us.

We had a family from the Hillsboro area with seven sons and one daughter join us last Sunday after church for a short pool party and visit. The father is an elder at Hillsboro Household of Faith, and they have connections with us because the mother's mother lives withn a few blocks of us here in G.P. We caught up on each other's lives, got to see the darling baby, and rejoiced in God's goodness.

Monday was Labor Day, and we all LABORED to finish whatever summer projects we had going before school started. John and the boys were digging out all the sediment in the back pond that had built up for years, and John has built a new rock wal to re-divert the seasonal creek so as to create a water feature visible from the house (we hope--we will see this winter).

Tuesday was the first day of school. Caleb is my last and only child left to homeschool, at least officially. He is a freshman in high school, and as we are planning on tracking him into an engineering career, we are getting serious about his earning dual-high-school-and-college credit, with the help of College Plus! This week we took the "modular" approach and concentrated totally on writing and grammar. I own the Student Writing Intensive and Continuation Writing Course by Andrew Pudewa, and we watched the SWI and first day of CWC, and got back into Shurley Grammar grade 7 where we left off last year in the workbook. I am so grateful to have these resources at my fingertips. Each of my children have responded very well to Pudewa's instruction, and it keeps us on track with what we ought to be accomplishing in writing skills.

Alexa has also spent much time and thought this week getting herself focussed in life. In addition to starring in the lead role of First Impressions, a movie being produced locally by some of her friends, God seems to have directed her towards a college degree program to be earned at home, also with College Plus! Certainly I was giving her a lot of advice in this regard, and she has been paying heed to my advice, for which I am very thankful. I am enthusiastic about the benefits College Plus! has to offer in keeping the kids directed and counseled along the way.

SO back to the week's activities. Wednesday night was the start of John's offering of the Understanding the Times Worldview study, which is a high-school-college-level class, in our home, running weekly through the school year. We had no idea it would be so popular; we had around thirty people gather into our newly-remodeled library with new 40-inch monitor. We watched Agenda: Grinding America Down as an excellent introduction to the course. The discussion was very invigorating. If you would still like to join us, contact me on facebook or email me.

Thursday night was a date night with my hubby. We spent our anniversary last month in the emergency room with me in extreme pain, so we will be trying to make up for that missed opportunity for celebration. We just caught a dinner at Subway and went shopping at Grocery Outlet and Walmart. My feet didn't hold up so well, heating up too much to walk the floor at Walmart, so I waited in the car.

Friday night we had the Kevin Swanson family for dinner. This included Kevin's parents Carol and Ralph, his wife Brenda, and five children. I was gratified to see many lively conversations ensuing around the dinner table and afterward when the McMurrays also joined us for dessert and singing. The family singing of rounds and hymns was so rich and good. The fellowship was so sweet; the subjects were many and varied and deep. It was a blessing to see young people engage in truly meaningful, serious, sober-minded topics with interest and joy.

This morning, Saturday, at 8:15am I woke up, got out of bed, and found myself quite cranky! I guess the excitement has caught up with me. John made a characteristic statement: "Thank you for having friends and offering our home for a rich time of fellowship...When will we do it again?" I said, "This is not the day to ask me. Give me a couple of days at least before you ask." Caleb said, "Okay, how about having our friends over after church tomorrow?" Aaron said, "Caleb, don't you get it?" Caleb: "That's two days..."

BTW, if you would like to watch the teaser trailer for First Impressions, click here. You may also want to consider donating to the production and having your name in the credits :).

August 2011

2011-08-27T21:13:00.000-07:00

Boy, oh boy, I have been so negligent to post! I am embarrassed to even try to catch things up, but I will persevere. It has been a scorcher of a month, in more ways than one, for me. My health problems escalated last month and I ended up in ER twice in two days, but I am stabilized again. God continues to show me new insights into his goodness. I have feasted on His word this summer through a study of I Peter and through scripture memory inspired by the Bible Bee program (biblebee.org), and it was just what I needed to weather the storm of my health challenges. For the umpteenth time I am on another treatment that I HOPE will solve all my problems, but I must remember that my hope is in the Lord.

John has again outdone himself this summer, making the rec room-library more beautiful with new floor, paint, a/c unit, trim, window, etc. THe laundry room also has a new floor, and the backyard pond has gotten a new rock wall and cement spillway. The exterior of the house was completely repainted by our friend Lloyd. Everything is so nice! The pool also has a new pump/filter, and I have been eating my complaining words about the cost as I have used it several weeks for my exercise when the Y pool was too hot for my burning feet. I have kept a few vegetables producing in the garden in spite of my need to stay out of the heat. God has been too good to me, far more than I deserve.

Sono Sato Harris Dies July 4, 2010

2010-07-07T20:01:00.000-07:00

Read Randy Alcorn's tribute to Sono at his blog here. I was so impacted by Sono's life and death. She was as Randy says a world-class wife and gold-medal mother.
How fitting that her life passed while fireworks filled the Portland skies around her. She joins other famous Americans who have died on our nation's birthday, including John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. Sono, though I never actually met you, you were a great inspiration. Thank you for your phone calls and emails, offering advice and assistance. See you in heaven!

Thoughts on Psalm 65

2010-07-02T13:01:00.000-07:00

This is my journal entry for this morning:
Reading Psalm 65 today.
Ps 65:1 Praise is due to you, O God, in Zion, and to you shall vows be performed.
I am struck by the second clause. When we make a vow, any vow, we must remember that God sees and hears us and expects us to keep it, even if the vow is to another human. Marriage vows, contracts, etc.—all are to be done as to the Lord, who holds us to our word. My study notes point out “When Israel brought petitions before the Lord, they frequently promised to offer sacrifices in response to answered prayer”.
v4 Blessed is the one you choose and bring near, to dwell in your courts! We shall be satisfied with the goodness of your house,
the holiness of your temple. (I am satisfied! Better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere.)
v. 9 You visit the earth and water it…”
We would not survive w/o God’s continuing visitations upon our land, to water and enrich it. Let me not forget we are wholly dependent upon Him every moment of every day.
v. 9 continued: “the river of God is full of water; you provide their grain, for so you have prepared it” God's supply never never runs out.
cf. Ps 46:1 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the most High. God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved.
This river can refer to three things that I can think of:
1. a river existing in heaven, before God’s throne, in the spiritual realm
2. a future river to exist in the New Jerusalem (Rev. 22), which may someday be one and the same as #1
3. the spiritual “river” of the Holy Spirit, that flows with living water out of the heart of every believer in Christ.
A song comes to mind:
I’ve got a river of life flowing out of me
makes the lame to walk and the blind to see
opens prison doors, sets the captive free
I’ve got a river of life flowing out of me
Spring Up O Well
within my soul
spring up o well
and make me whole
spring up o well
and give to me
that Life Abundantly

Home Alone and Loving It

2010-07-01T22:02:00.000-07:00

My husband and three children are vacationing in Kentucky and DC for two weeks while I hold down the fort here at home. THe first few days were a little rough as I tried to do too much, but on the whole I relish all this time on my hands to read and prepare for the next school year. Not to say I have been totally reclusive; my married children have both come by to see me and help me out when I needed it, and our friend and construction guy Jim M. has been working daily on our kitchen-dining remodel. Also my faithful housekeeper has been coming each week to get the house cleaned and in shape in time for the family's return.

I am enjoying Genesis in my daily morning devotions again. Genesis has always fascinated me. It is a glimpse into a long-ago mysterious world far removed from our own. My imagination runs wild trying to grasp what life was like for Adam and Eve and their progeny, when dinosaurs roamed the earth. It also strikes me how many things remain the same--i.e. the sinful nature of man. I invariably pull out one of my favorite resources, given to me by Caleb for Christmas a couple of years ago: the Adam's Synchronological Chart or History of the World. This marvelous 22-foot timeline is based on Ussher's Annals of the World, another wonderful book I purchased a few years ago from Master's Books. Ussher's Annals were universally accepted as the most reliable source for dating the beginning of human history based on scripture for centuries after its first publication in 1659. In the last 150 years that it has been largely ignored and discarded.

I believe every homeschool mother or father should own these resources. They were both produced before the influence of evolutionary theory had poisoned the minds of many Christian scholars and commentary-writers. Even to this day it is difficult to find prominent Christian teachers that do not reflect evolutionary influence on their thinking, though they may deny it. My ESV Reformation Study Bible, edited by R.C. Sproul and written by evangelical Christians who profess to believe the Bible as infallible, displays a disappointing cynicism towards some passages of Genesis such as the post-Flood genealogy. In contrast, the Adams-Ussher duo shows an uncompromising trust of the word of God, for saying what it means and meaning what it says. It is a breath of fresh air.

Tea was a Success

2010-06-21T21:05:00.000-07:00

So I did by God's grace hold a mother-daughter tea at my home--and fifty women with their daughters came--the day before Mother's Day. What a blessing it was! Some of the information I shared was very eye-opening to some women who had never heard such a message. I pray that the seeds I sowed will continue to sprout good works in these precious women and girls.

I am so grateful to the women who helped make the tea happen; all the table hostesses, and my co-planner and friend Carla. My health was again not good the day before, and more women came to help get ready--God bless them!

The idea of having our daughters write a letter to their fathers along with a heart charm as a symbol of entrusting their fathers with their heart--and their future choice of a husband--was new to several of the mothers, and was well-received. If you participated in the tea, and your daughter wrote such a letter, please let me know. I would be blessed to know how it blessed you.

Feminine by Design: A Great Book

2010-04-24T19:15:00.000-07:00

Feminine by Design: the Twelve Pillars of Biblical Womanhood by Scott Brown is a must read for every woman and young lady! I got this short 85-page large-font paperback from Vision Forum and have found it expresses what I desired to share at the upcoming Mother-Daughter tea at my house in a far superior way. There are many quotes I'd like to share from this book. My favorite is Pillar 6: "A Helpmeet":
"And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.'" God designed women to be helpers, not leaders. This statement in Genesis 2:18, which makes them helpers, applies to all women. Some think the helping role applies only to married women. On the contrary, the Bible declares women to be helpers by nature, not only by marriage. This quality is part of her intrinsic constitution as a woman as Eve is the representative of all women--not just married women. In this way, a woman does not instantly become useful as a helper only when she gets married. She is a helper by nature, and a beneficial presence her whole life long...This means that parents need to specifically equip their daughters to play that role..."
Then speaking to daughters, he says:
"Since you are an unmarried daughter in your father's house, you are not the helpmeet of you father, in the same way that your mother is, but you are in training to be a most excellent helpmeet. By helping your father and mother, you are learning to someday be the helper you were designed to be."

Some might react to this teaching by saying, "But what if I NEVER get married??" But the answer is already given--you are ALREADY a helper. Continue in the role and help your father the best you can; you are of inestimable worth. You can help other women in their homes when they have a quiverful and are overwhelmed--come alongside and teach her children or do housework or use whatever gifts you can which are still home-centered.

The epilogue, written by Scott's wife Deborah, reads in part:
"Scripture indicates that the home is designed to be the central place where women glorify God. They do this through their obedience to the commands of God as they employ their gifts and fulfill their callings...Why then are we training our daughters toward a career outside the home? Why are we sending their hearts and affections in a different direction? What if we instead trained oru daughters to fulfill the biblical role of helper to a husband?...What if we truly trusted in the biblical pattern for our girls and deliberately prepared them for that and that alone?
"Is your heart overcome by fears of 'what if'? 'What if she doesn't get married? What if she has a passion for...?' 'What if her husband dies?'
When asking these questions we should remember that since the days of Adam and Eve God has taken care of mankind's fears and 'what if's. He has made provision for His people through the promises in His Word. We must trust His instructions all the while remembering that He "shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory" (Philippians 4:19
"It is for us to train our daughters after God's glorious design! It is for us to help them love the way of a woman!..."
Feminine By Design is written for teenage girls [I think it applies to all ages] to help them understand biblical femininity. Here Scott Brown explores some of the major passages of scripture that explain it. You will find the biblical texts that he used to teach his own daughters as he sought to "bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:$). His intention was to fulfill the appeal of Jesus in the Gard of Gethsemane, 'Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth."'(John 17:17)

It remains for us as mothers to properly disciple our daughters, but we must first have their hearts. It is a challenge for me to win the heart of my daughter and have her full attention, when I try to speak to these matters. Maybe I preach down to her too much. I must spend more time with her in hang-out time and just let her do the talking. She loves to do that :). I would be interested in any ideas you mothers have for others regarding winning the heart of their daughters.

Finally, a daughter must entrust her heart to her father as leader and protector of her while she is in his home. We will be giving tokens of our hearts to the daughters at the tea, along with note paper on which to write to their fathers. We will use Raising Maidens of Virtue by Stacy McDonald (another must-read) for letter-writing models.

Oats, Peas, Beans, and...Phytic Acid

2010-03-20T18:51:00.000-07:00

Oats, Peas, Beans, and Barley Grow,
Oats, Peas, Beans, and Barley Grow,
Oats, Peas, Beans, and Barley Grow,
But better soak them too. :)

Are you spending a lot of money on supplements to try and increase your mineral intake? I was until two months ago. I have been battling iron deficiency for years and relied on iron supplements to keep my levels up. Then I discovered I was probably wasting my money on supplements that my body was not even absorbing properly. Sally Fallon's book, Nourishing Traditions, has helped me realize the role that phytic acid plays in inhibiting mineral absorption. Phytates, or phytic acid, are responsible for inhibiting absorption of several essential minerals and is present in most nuts, grains, beans, and cereals. In addition, these foods have enzyme inhibitors that block the essential work of enzymes in breaking down all of our foods into absorbable forms. Usually, one can solve the problem by soaking these foods for 12 hours prior to cooking. The simple action of water neutralizes the phytates and enzyme inhibitors. The process is further aided if one adds probiotics or raises the pH by adding lemon juice to the water.
Now, I've made a new discovery about oatmeal and phytates. Amanda Rose, Ph.D. at Phyticacidresearch.com has written a white paper on exactly how much phytic acid is present in a wide gamut of foods, and offers some very helpful kitchen techniques. Oatmeal, it turns out, is an exception to the rule. Soaking only reduces 30% of phytate levels in the oatmeal. So can you do about it?

The solution is adding 10% freshly ground wheat before soaking. Why? Wheat has phytase--an enzyme that breaks down phytates. See this link.

Unfortunately for gluten-sensitive people like me, this is not a good solution. However, Amanda also gives other solutions, such as eating a vitamin-C-rich food in that same meal.
There is also advice about corn and beans. Check it out.

A New Song: God Made Me A Helper (To the tune of I Love You A Bushel and A Peck)

2010-03-19T21:25:00.000-07:00

God made me
A Helper-to-Be
A Helper-to-Be
For my family
My mom and daddy
and I can start right now
To please the Lord,
He'll give me strength somehow
I'll start now
To please God
Right now
Doodle-oodle-oodle
Doodle-oodle-oodle
A cheerful Helper I will be!

Just a simple little song for the younger girls at our mother-daughter tea. Listen to the original tune here, done by a cute couple of girl friends in nice harmony.

Update on Kefir-Making

2010-03-19T20:58:00.001-07:00

Recently I posted about making kefir out of young Thai coconuts. Our friend Lindsey at Passionate Homemaking has found an easier, cheaper way--using canned coconut milk. I have ordered a case from Azure Standard and I am going to try it. Lindsey has a how-to video and instructions on her blog, along with lots of good tips. Lindsey is an amazing young lady. I first met her when her family came to my house while she was in courtship with the man who is now her husband. She has mastered the art of homemaking much younger than I; I have a lot to learn from her. As she points out, homemaking is a full-time job; there is no end to one's scope for imagination in the home.

In addition to organic recipes, her website has a wide variety of topics from how to reduce junk mail, to making an organized planner and natural personal-care products. Enjoy!

Woman's Calling: Helper Part 2

2010-03-04T22:24:00.000-08:00

My friend and elder of our church was reviewing the thoughts I wrote and suggested I add some qualifiers. I heartily agreed.
My blog should not in any way imply that our lot in life as women is to be of any less value than that of men. We are all servants of the Most High God. We as Christians are bond-servants of Christ whether male or female. SO we stand equal before God. We have the same access to the Holy Spirit and His gifts. We are just as intelligent and capable as men. We are called help-meets because we are comparable to the men we help. However, we do fill different roles and operate in different spheres of influence. We manifest our service to Christ differently. Just as Paul writes that "one plants a seed, another waters, but God causes the growth", so it is that God has called men and women to fill various roles in spreading the gospel and producing godly offspring.

This is the complementarian view of gender, as opposed to the egalitarian view, which denies any differences between men and women with respect to their roles or even their physicality, as well as their relative value. Those who hold the complementarian view of scripture include Philip Lancaster, Douglas Wilson, John Piper, Wayne Grudem, and Douglas Phillips. A growing number of evangelicals are adopting an egalitarian (mis)interpretation of scripture. It is important that we understand these concepts and are firmly grounded in our understanding if we are to be following God's will as women. For more information on the topic see Desiring God Ministry's website here.

Going Crazy in the Kitchen

2010-02-26T18:54:00.000-08:00

Do you enjoy cooking? I didn't used to. Right up until recently, it was just something I had to do to keep me and my family alive.

But God is changing even this old dog. Who says I can't learn new tricks? Between my daughter and daughter-in-law I'm learning how to fix foods the old, natural way. It's a lot of fun! Using The Body Ecology Diet and Nourishing Traditions books together, I've discovered some ways to make my candida dieting much more palatable. For instance, I was under the impression that I should not be eating any grains because of the high carb content. Not so. The B.E.D. diet says there are four grains I can eat that have low glycemic impact. Imagine my joy when I ate a bowlful of millet with clarified butter melted in. Mmmm! And I can make bread out of these grains. Yeehaw! Bread in my life again! I made two batches of bread this week, and they were yummy.

I had a blood allergy test done in December which showed allergies to wheat/gluten, milk, and egg among other things. That motivated me further to try to change my eating habits radically. I can really tell a difference from being off store-bought milk and yogurt. The lactose was evidently too sugary and left me feeling bloated after a smoothie. Now I make smoothies using young coconut kefir and coconut kefir cheese, raw greens, pure cranberry and/or lemon juice, and stevia. If I ever do get the candida symptoms to go away, I'll try throwing in some fruit.

We have started buying some organic products. I was amazed to find how sweet a batch of fresh organic chard was--it was actually sweet like beets, not bitter at all. And my new favorite green is Italian kale. Stir-fry it with some olive oil or coconut oil (organic of course) or butter and some onions. MMMM!

I'm also soaking all of the grains, seeds and nuts overnight before cooking or eating them. I use coconut kefir. This ensures that the grains are digestible enough, and actually neutralizes any phytic acid or enzyme inhibitors in the grains/seeds that lead to poor absorption of minerals and, ultimately, tooth decay. What a wonder to find out that teeth can re-calcify if we are taking these precautions and eating pre-soaked or sprouted grains in our diet!

Thank you, all you ladies in my life who have helped gently prod me on this journey. There have been half a dozen who have shared this or that gem and helped me down this new adventure. And thank you, Lord, for giving me the strength to be on my feet more than I have in years, as I work with joy in the kitchen.

My husband is not so crazy about the changes. My bread wasn't his favorite. And even I didn't much enjoy the beef liver I served a couple of weeks ago. He chokes at the price we are paying for raw milk now. But he is being a good sport. Maybe my increasing strength is convincing him to put up with it all.

Woman's Calling: Helper

2010-02-26T18:09:00.000-08:00

I have been praying and thinking about hosting a mother-daughter tea and wondering what I should share as a devotional. God is giving me a whole bunch of good tidbits to share. Now I need to organize them. For now here is a tidbit.

Women were created to be helpers--a comparable help-mate for her man. See Genesis 1. The Holy Spirit is called the Paraclete, which is Greek for Helper. So we women are a type of the Third Person of the Trinity in that we are also helpers. If even Almighty God is called our Helper, should we then feel demeaned by such a title?

What are some characteristics of the Holy Spirit that we can emulate?
1. He does not seek His own glory, but that of another. When the name of Jesus Christ is exalted, the Holy Spirit is at work. The Holy Spirit operates by the motto "He must increase, but I must decrease" (John 3:30)
2. He helps by providing the support, the strength, the power necessary for others to flourish.
3. He works almost secretively, in cognito. His effective work is often mistaken for that of another, often human, agent. Yet He is okay with that, for He does not seek His own glory. "The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit." (John 3:8)

Doesn't this describe well our condition as home-centered women? We often work to assist our husbands so they can flourish in the marketplace or civic circle. Yet we do not get a lot of credit for it. Our names are "lost" in that of our husbands when we take on their surname. In earlier days a woman would even give up her first name in public by signing "Mrs. John Smith". Douglas Wilson, in his book Reforming Marriage, points out that this practice was rooted in a biblical understanding of a wife's role as helper. It rubs most of us the wrong way today, steeped as we are in egalitarian thought.

SO we must ask ourselves the hard questions: am I willing to give up my identity for the sake of my husband's name? Do I love him enough to lose myself in him? Am I willing to focus on his needs more than my own, and break my back for his benefit?
This is no more than what Christ did for me: "7 but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant,being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." (Phil. 2) Can I do any less?

Mr. Wilson also points out that a man's calling is defined by what type of occupation he chooses, while a woman's calling is defined more by the particular man she is called to help. Not what she does, but who she helps.

A woman's activities are not limited to the home; nor are they narrow in scope and aspect. She can help her husband with his occupation; if she is widowed, she can fill the shoes he emptied, for her continued support. She can consider a field and buy it, and steward it to bring him and her children greater wealth.

If a woman goes to work for another man or woman, however, she needs to consider--is she helping her own husband to flourish, or is another man benefiting more from her help?

God is Good! We are Mortgage-Free!

2010-02-01T22:16:00.000-08:00

Today I wired the payoff payment to our mortgage company. We own our house free and clear! Thank you Lord! Yahoo!
A friend asked me today how long it took us. If you count the payments we've been making since our first house, building equity as we sold and re-bought and did it again for our present, third house, it has been twenty-two years. We had originally hoped to pay off in fifteen, but we were tempted into upgrading to larger, nicer houses whenever there was a bubble in the housing market, and continued to increase our debt service. However, we have stayed put in this house for fifteen years, riding through the worst bubble burst in history (2007). We also benefited from dropping interest rates and refinanced twice until our last mortgage had only 4.25%. We don't deserve such favor. But it does show that a SILK (Single-Income, Lots of Kids)family can still make it and do well if one is frugal and follows practical biblical principles. We have never bought any new vehicles on time. The only debt we have carried is for the house. We might have been smarter to put more money down and avoided tens of thousands in interest dollars; but we can hope our children have learned from us to do even better than we did. Indeed, Nathan hopes to pay for their house in less than seven years--a good biblical number.
Soli Deo Gloria!

Year-End Sleadd Newsletter for 2009

2010-02-01T21:58:00.000-08:00

Oh, goodness, I'm behind on blogging and corresponding. Here is our year-end newsletter. Enjoy.

2009 Sleadd End-of-Year Newsletter

Words from Alexa
Well, though you may not believe it, all of us Sleadds got a year older than we were last year--except for Mother, of course, because mothers are ageless. I might take the liberty at this time to disclose all those things that nobody will bother to mention: like the fact that Dad’s consistent reliance on reading spectacles really helps complete his studious pastor image. (He just gave his 66th sermon, and I have yet to fall asleep during one of them.)
What’s new with me? My parents get regular stress-management tests in the passenger seat while I practice my driving skills. I’ve only been pulled over once for driving like I had ADHD, so no worries. I’m now a reluctant senior, because, as a homeschooler, I’m not sure when I want to graduate. (Mother’s note: we plan to graduate her in 2011 with her age-mates). I really enjoy doing graphic design/photography-related projects and maybe it’ll turn out to be an occupational pursuit. Nathan says he’ll hire me as soon as I’ve taught myself how to use CS7 and Illustrator (computer programs). Grandma Steves has been very indulgent, taking me on multiple photography trips and letting me use her equipment. Now she has given me her laptop to use for my photos; I feel so spoiled!

I’d have to say a continual highlight for me is church every week. Our church is growing a lot, but is still small enough to know everybody. I’m just in awe at what God is doing through the people, and Sunday is always a sanctuary in a busy week! We’re “family integrated”, so when I say I like to see “my friends” at church, it’s inclusive of people of all ages. Aaron built a website (and I helped design it) for our church so check it out: www.hofgp.org.

I got braces last January, and had some minor gum surgery. Only got six months to go, before I can get all this metal out of my mouth!

Caleb’s a 7th grader now. (Mother’s note: he’s also getting taller and quite lanky.) His favorite pastime is reading and grazing in the kitchen. He eats everything in sight—if he’s not allergic to it.

Aaron, the brilliant fellow, coordinated a show called “A Night of Music”, in which he used a lot of Dad’s originals. We had a whole bunch of our teenage friends involved with singing, dancing, and playing various instruments. I made a flyer to advertise, we used the church building, and we made lots of memories with rehearsals and pizza! The turnout was fantastic. We also realized that Aaron played drums on every song except one!

Last Fourth of July, Mom and Dad gave Aaron a .12 shotgun, and Nathan a .22 as sort of a patriotic celebration of the right to bear arms… I’ve tried the shotgun a few times, and boy it’s got kick!

In October Nathan and Colleen bought their first house in downtown Grants Pass. It’s a cute little place built in 1900; Nathanael (Naomi’s husband) built them a shed and replaced eleven windows, and installed a dishwasher.

On the health front, Aaron keeps dislocating his shoulder (see picture). A genetic tendency, unfortunately. The Swine Flu really swept through our area, and everybody knows someone who had it. We all got sick too, but it may have been a seasonal bug. We knew some acquaintances/friends who were hospitalized, and it seemed like everyone in church was sick for awhile, but all seem to have recovered, thankfully.

Home improvement
One exciting part of our year has been the remodel. Nathanael, my brother-in-law, worked on our house for two months. Our current situation is no different on the inside of the kitchen yet; we just have the enclosed addition outside the kitchen. Caleb and I sure appreciated the interruption of our arduous school schedule to run out and do odd jobs for Nathanael. And with all the demolition debris lying around, I stepped on a nail, (which didn’t get past my sole), while Caleb fell and got a fat one in his knee. Ouch. We also completely re-shingled our house. That was an experience! Apparently the previous lazy roofers came to the conclusion that whacking down a third layer over the top was easier than tearing up the old shingles. So we had ourselves a big mess. We tore off the three layers and spent several weeks picking out tons of brittle flakes of shingle out of our lawn and hauling away load after load. One highlight was ripping off the bathroom roof, and interrupting an ant civilization therein. They had networked through the gypsum in the drywall ceiling and if anyone had poked it from underneath, they would have unleashed a shower of biting ants. That’s not the kind of shower you want in a bathroom. It happened anyway. We’re still killing an occasional ant.

Our well, which had been losing flow for several years, finally went dry this summer. After a temporary fix of buying city water to fill our holding tank (chlorinated—tasted awful!), we had another existing well drilled deeper, to 300 feet. It was an expensive mess, but we have plenty of tasty, clear water now!
-Alexa

Words from John
What highlights from 2009 come to mind? Here are a few.

I ran in a 10 mile race in April just to see if I could do it at fifty years of age. I spent five weeks warming up for it (3 jogs a week) and was grateful to make it to the end without passing out and spasming in front of the crowds at the finish line. I’m content to wait another 50 years to try such a thing again.

I enjoyed six glorious days with Arden in the tropical paradise of Kauai, Hawaii. It was beautiful and restful. We had fun exploring the island, visiting resorts, eating out and relaxing. I took some short solo hikes to scenic spots. Snorkeling among the colorful fish, that would gather when I snapped my fingers under water, was a thrill.

I was assigned to teach third grade this year at school and am enjoying working with a sweet batch of little whipper snappers. I will most likely be moved to fourth grade next year.

It was fascinating to watch Nathanael remodel the backside and roof of our house. I enjoyed coming home from school each day to marvel at the progress. I got to do some electrical work. I decided to hire out the plumbing to a professional.
I enjoyed another year of studying and preaching God’s Word in Household of Faith Community Church. It is a blessing and an honor to work with such wonderful people. As a bi-vocational pastor I preach two Sundays a month, and the other fine men on the teaching team preach on the other Sundays. Nathan and Aaron Sleadd both preached at HOFGP in 2009.

Words from Arden
We have so much to be thankful for: new well, new add-on, new grandsons. Our grandson population tripled this year with the births of James Christian Phillips (March 12) and Brock Alexander Sleadd (July 10). They are growing up strong and lively and are the joy of our lives.

Aaron graduated from high school along with a dozen other home school comrades. We are very proud of his hard work ethic. He is still interning as a computer programmer and working for Nathan as warehouse manager while living at home and driving a $500 Toyota Tercel—that is, he was driving it, until it threw a rod or something. (P.S. Aaron has replaced the Tercel with Nathan’s Stratus, who bought a new/used truck.)

I have only two children left to homeschool this year, Alexa 16 and Caleb 12, and it seems much easier. For once I feel organized!

For the last eighteen years I have battled fibromyalgia, and every year I have tried something new, to be disappointed with the results. This year was no exception; I took an antiviral for a year to combat HHV-6 and EBV, both implicated as possible causes of FMS and chronic fatigue. Though the treatment succeeded in lowering my antibody levels, my symptoms are largely unchanged. Now I am on Sporanox, an antifungal, to treat systemic yeast, in hopes that my red-hot, burning feet will respond.

In August John and I spent our 25th anniversary in Kauai, Hawaii. It was a wonderful week spent together in paradise. I had much help and prayer from John and my friends just to get me there. I agonized for months over the wisdom of planning such a trip, right up to the day we left, but God made a way and I enjoyed it greatly. We spent a day at my cousin Anita’s on the layover in Seattle, and we talked for hours to catch up on our lives. We saw soaring tropical birds over flood-swollen falls muddy from a storm. We saw turtles cavorting in the waves. We had great food and Polynesian entertainment at a luau. See more pics and a video clip at my blog. The twice-daily swims in the hotel pool helped me improve so much, I learned my lesson that daily water exercise was what I needed, and have continued them to this day. It has made a significant difference.

Caleb and I were both found to be allergic to dairy, wheat/gluten, eggs, and half a dozen other foods this year, so much time and attention has been diverted to changing our eating habits. Alexa, the chief cook, has been quite accommodating, but she’s a busy gal so I am pushing myself to the limit preparing more raw veggies for my diet. I’m trying the Body Ecology Diet (which targets candida) with Naomi’s help. John is as healthy as a horse.

We are currently reducing our flock of hens because 1) the egg business is not a money-maker, 2) two of us are allergic to eggs, 3) the kids have lost interest, and 4) John has lost willingness to spend any more money or time on their accommodations. Last summer a large, multi-colored, exotic rooster with long, black tail feathers found his way onto our property. He was in seventh heaven with so many dames. We let him stick around for some weeks until we noticed the hens’ egg production dropping precipitously and their behavior growing more aggressive and broody. Since we couldn’t find the cock’s original owners, Caleb and I drove him down to the nearest riverside park and let him loose. I hope he didn’t become food for another critter.

Come spring we hope to start again on phase II of the remodel. John and the kids also have big plans to visit the KY/DC Sleadd relations in the summer. So life doesn’t get much fuller, and we are blessed.

In the midst of economic and national uncertainty, God still reigns supreme. He has kept us in the hollow of His hand and blessed us, materially and spiritually. We can only stand amazed in His presence. May 2010 be a year of blessing for you as well.

In Christ’s Love,
John, Arden, Aaron, Alexa, and Caleb Sleadd

How do we respond to the prosperity gospel?

2009-12-04T19:38:00.000-08:00

Truth mixed with error is the most dangerous kind, as it is hard to discern the one from the other. The prosperity gospel is a case in point. God does indeed bless us when we give of our first-fruits to Him, as John and I know from personal experience. If we are faithful with little, He will bless us with much. But He doesn’t guarantee that the blessing will be in the form of material wealth. We also must be discerning in who we are giving to--not to opportunistic “ministers” preying on the vulnerable. See article here: http://www.tennessean.com/article/20091129/NEWS01/911290359/Prosperity+gospel+faces+challenge++frugal+savers">

A better way to seek God's favor is to live by the practical advice found in His word. That includes staying out of debt, and giving of our tithes on a regular, consistent basis to faithful ministers of the gospel.

Remember this: God is not mocked. Whatever a man sows, that shall he also reap. We cannot negate a lifestyle of sloth or irresponsibility by dropping money into an offering or donating to a cause. God usually allows the natural consequences of our actions to play themselves out in our lives, even if we have repented and received forgiveness. If we look to the Bible for guidance in our everyday lives and live frugally, we will be blessed in the long run.

The Old Testament principle of tithes and offerings is confirmed by the New Testament. The tithe is a tenth. Everyone can afford a tenth. It's all God's in the first place; He deserves at least a tenth. When it is the first tenth we spend, we ensure avoiding the temptation to spend it elsewhere. That is the concept of first fruits.

Unfortunately, American Christians have not taken this seriously. The average giving among them is only 2.5% to 3%--way below the biblical standard. As a result, American churches are largely impoverished, even while appearing wealthy. Think about it, and crunch the numbers. If ten families gave faithfully 10% of their income, they could theoretically support one full-time pastor at the median income of that congregation. As it is, most churches must have four times as many giving households to compensate for the lack. That means that each full-time pastor must personally shepherd 35 to 40 families. No pastor can do a good job of shepherding that many.

I believe this has contributed to the trend of churches adopting a mega-church, programmatic model, which leaves congregants improperly discipled and immature. Their church buildings and programs may look slick and trendy, but the relational needs of the members remain woefully lacking.

I'll admit I didn't really think about all this until I became a pastor's wife. I confess my self-interest on this subject. I recognize that economic hard times have hit, and I don't fault church members for that at all.

Simply take this as a loving suggestion. If you entrust God with your material resources, He will bless you--but only if you are walking in the light of His word, in consistent integrity. I feel the Spirit's conviction even as I write these words. I know I am not consistent in all things either. Lord, forgive me--and keep me humble.

"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also"

To Teach Cursive or Not To Teach Cursive

2009-09-25T20:46:00.000-07:00

I got this email from a mom friend asking for advice regarding her 9yo son. Here is her question and my response.

S. is struggling w/ his handwriting. It's ATROCIOUS! His printing is bad and, of course, his cursive is even worse. I feel like we spend a lot of time (too much time) on handwriting "practice." I read an article yesterday that said a lot of government schools are doing away w/ cursive because most students don't even use it beyond elementary school. I don't write in cursive (other than my signature) and am wondering if scrapping cursive (this would be our 2nd year of it) and focusing on nice legible printing would be a better use of our time, along w/ teaching him to type, which seems like something he will definitely have to use in the future.

Dear J,

Sounds like you’re on to a good plan. The one problem with not teaching cursive is that the next generation won’t be able to read cursive from prior generations. I have taught my children cursive because I use cursive in my journals and someday I want them to be able to read them. If it is not your habit to use cursive then the need is minimized, but there may be others in their lives who still use it.

If his printing is bad, then yes, first things first—teach him to print well. He will always need to be able to handle a pen or pencil to some degree and the dexterity is important for many things. I read recently that a company was having a hard time finding people capable of peeling potatoes anymore. That is sad!

My method to hit two birds with one stone is to have them copy Bible verses for daily penmanship and memory work. That helps them hide the word of God at the same time.

My boys were especially reticent to use cursive. Caleb complains every time I require him to use cursive. But I’m the boss :). It may be a gender thing; but in the end it pays off to outlast them and plug away.

Typing is a necessary skill to have too, and indeed may be more important than cursive writing in this day and age. I use a version of Typing Instructor (CD-ROM) that has the more obnoxious musical tracks removed. I think I got it from Timberdoodle years ago. Don’t know if they still sell it. Check also with Rainbow Resource. The kids like the games on it and it makes it easy on you.

Arden

Modesty = Humility Part III

2009-09-19T16:33:00.000-07:00

My mother is a great lady. She taught me something that was very common-sense when I was a teenager, that has stuck with me all my life regarding the use of makeup. Her words were something along these lines:

"Wear just enough makeup that people will say, 'Oh, what a pretty girl!' Don't wear so much that they say, 'Oh, look at that makeup.' Makeup is intended to enhance your natural beauty, not cover it up. When you are old and wrinkled, you can use it to cover up the wrinkles. When you're young, you don't need it so much. A young girl is beautiful already!"

Wasn't that good advice? God has given young ladies a natural beauty that simply needs to show, with subtle touches here and there. Yes, the acne needs covering sometimes. But why cover up God's handiwork?

Usually when I see a young lady use a heavy hand with her makeup, I jump to the conclusion that she is insecure about her appearance and feels it necessary to improve upon it. Perhaps that is an unfair judgement; but "man looks on the outward appearance", and I am human.

Too much adornment and makeup has the appearance of evil. It sends the message that the young lady is advertising for male attention, and competing with other females for that attention.

I challenge you, young lady, to examine yourself with this question:
What is my motive? Is it
-to draw undue attention to myself?
-to compete with others?
-to attract male attention?
-to bolster my self-esteem?
OR is it
-to glorify God?
-to honor the King?
-to enhance my natural God-given gift of beauty?

I encourage you to ask an older woman who you consider to be godly, "What do you think about my appearance? Have I gone overboard?" We women need to help each other in this area. My own children have often let me know when I wore something too low-cut or short, and I appreciate their input. Likewise, my husband and I have tried diligently to coach and correct our daughters--and sons--in this regard.

We often think of modesty as referring only to the amount of flesh that is showing. A "modesty piece", according to Webster, was "A narrow lace worn by females over the bosom [read: cleavage]." But I hope I have shown that modesty is more than skin-deep; it involves the heart and character of the whole person.

Modesty means humility and discretion in appearance, in speech, and in spirit. Our tone of voice even displays a spirit we may be unconscious of. Women can have a high-pitched nasal whine that is so unpleasant, it's no wonder Solomon says a contentious woman can sound like "a constant dripping". We need to modulate our voices to be pleasant, not nagging or whiny. And we need to choose our words carefully, so as not to be frivolous or flirtatious.

The I Peter passage I previously quoted said, "...[do] not be frightened by any fear". This is directed at all women in regard to one's dress and submissive spirit. So, if you are not yet married, do not be frightened by the fear of never finding a good man to marry, or not attracting enough attention. Leave that in God's hands, and let him make you beautiful in that young man's eyes--that one man which God has intended for you. You need not play the field--God already has a wonderful future for you, if you obey His Word.

The spirit of modesty shows itself in how much we are willing to share the limelight with others and put their needs before our own. A woman's greatest asset is not her physical beauty but her heart condition. When her heart is humble, and the joy of the Lord is there, it naturally spills out unconsciously in her countenance. This is the type of beauty we should strive for.

If you've read this part first, read parts I and II below for a biblical view of modesty.

Modesty = Humility Part II

2009-09-19T16:02:00.000-07:00

So how do we "clothe ourselves with humility", as Peter asks of young people (which we "elders" both male and female ought to model)?

On the one hand, we have freedom to dress as befitting daughters of the King. Beauty is a biblical value. I do not believe God calls me to be ugly for Jesus, or reserve my beauty only for my husband's eyes, as I have heard some plain-dressing advocates claim.

On the other hand, we are not to go overboard in bringing undue attention to ourselves. This is the essense of humility. "Let your adornment be...the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a quiet and gentle spirit". Our clothing choices should reflect this heart attitude. I Timothy 2:9-10 says,
9Likewise, I want (A)women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments,
10but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness. NASB (italicized words added by translators)

Here Timothy is in agreement with Peter, that a woman's clothing reflects the inner heart attitude of modesty, discretion, and godliness.

I love Noah Webster's original 1828 dictionary. Here is his definition of modesty:

"MOD'ESTY, n. [L. modestia.] That lowly temper which accompanies a moderate estimate of one's own worth and importance. This temper when natural, springs in some measure from timidity, and in young and inexperienced persons, is allied to bashfulness and diffidence. In persons who have seen the world, and lost their natural timidity, modesty springs no less from principle than from feeling, and is manifested by retiring, unobtrusive manners, assuming less to itself than others are willing to yield, and conceding to others all due honor and respect, or even more than they expect or require.
2. Modesty, as an act or series of acts, consists in humble, unobtrusive deportment, as opposed to extreme boldness, forwardness, arrogance, presumption, audacity or impudence. Thus we say, the petitioner urged his claims with modesty; the speaker addressed the audience with modesty.
3. Moderation; decency.
4. In females, modesty has the like character as in males; but the word is used also as synonymous with chastity, or purity of manners. In this sense, modesty results from purity of mind, or from the fear of disgrace and ignominy fortified by education and principle. Unaffected modesty is the sweetest charm of female excellence, the richest gem in the diadem of their honor." (emphasis mine) (taken from http://1828.mshaffer.com/, which has a word search of the 1828 Webster's)

I can hardly hope to treat the topic any better than Webster has already done here ! I feel my spirit elevated and nourished by his words. Don't you?

In Part III, I will take us women further into how we can apply this to our own lives.

Modesty Equals Humility Part I

2009-09-19T15:09:00.000-07:00

Last summer I wrote a devotional on the subject of modesty and shared it at Alexa's small birthday gathering of friends. I thought I would share it with you as well.

Modesty = Humility

1 Peter 5:5-6 says, "Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves therefore, with humility toward one another, for 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble'. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you." (emphasis mine). The phrase "clothe yourselves with humility" jumped out at me as I read this recently. I believe this verse can be taken literally as well as figuratively.

Some Christians may say, "Well, God cares more about our heart than He does about what we wear." This may be one way of interpreting the scripture, "Man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart" (I Sam 16:8). However, we must be careful to interpret Scripture with Scripture if we are to have a balanced view on any topic, including modesty. And there are several scriptures that indicate God does care about our clothing, for the way we dress and adorn ourselves speaks volumes about the condition of our hearts. And since man does look on the outward appearance, we should take heed all the more not to be a stumbling block to others with our garb and adornment. This is particularly true for women and young ladies. We should dress with regard to treating each man and boy as a "younger brother" who is vulnerable to stumbling.

Here is the balanced view from Scripture. On the one hand, we have freedom to adorn ourselves as befitting daughters of the King. Psalm 45 describes a wedding celebration (probably Solomon's).Verse 8 speaks of garments fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia, of the King desiring the bride's beauty.
Verse 13-15 says,
"The King's daughter is all glorious within;
Her clothing is interwoven with gold.
She will be led to the King in embroidered work,
The virgins, her companions who follow her,
Will be brought to Thee.
They will be led forth with gladness and rejoicing,
They will enter into the King's palace."

Notice the sumptuousness of the occasion: the embroidered clothing interwoven with gold, the perfume, etc. This prefigures the return of Christ the Bridegroom, where we who are clothed in robes of white will meet Him at the final wedding feast. How glorious it will be!

In the meantime, there is much to celebrate, and much joy alotted us in dressing to honor special occasions in our lives.

We should also dress appropriately for our station as daughters of the King of Kings. We can find other passages describing the adornment of godly young ladies such as Rebekah and Esther. There is no hint of condemnation for their adornment.

In counterpoint to that, we have I Peter 3 to wrestle with. My NASB reads thus:
"1(A)In the same way, you wives, (B)be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be (C)won without a word by the behavior of their wives,
2as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.
3(D)Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;
4but let it be (E)the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
5For in this way in former times the holy women also, (F)who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands;
6just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, (G)calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right (H)without being frightened by any fear." (Italicized words were added by the translators.)

Because the word merely is not present in other translations, I assume some Christians have read verse three to mean it prohibits the wearing of gold, braiding of hair, etc.--in other words, plain dressing is required. This is the tradition of such groups as the Amish, Mennonites, etc. While I have the utmost respect for these groups for their conscientious attempt to obey scripture with their plain, simple living, I believe they have elevated this passage over other passages, such as the psalm passage above. (As a side note, notice they do NOT take "the wearing of dresses" as a prohibition :).)

There is beautiful balance to be found in scripture. It does not contradict itself; it only limits and defines the meaning by its various passages on any given topic. It is a truly remarkable document, sufficient for every good work. It is, after all, God's word!

So how do we apply this to our every day choices regarding dress, apparel, and adornment? See Part II.

Beloved: thoughts on Psalm 108

2009-09-19T09:28:00.000-07:00

"My heart is stedfast, O God...Be exalted O God, above the heavens...that Thy beloved may be delivered, Save with Thy right hand, and answer me! -Ps 108 NASB

BELOVED. What a beautiful word! "I am my beloved's, and He is mine,
His banner over me is love."
I love the thought of being beloved. Beloved by God, beloved by my husband. To be the undeserving recipient of such desire, such care, such attention--that is the source of my self-worth and confidence.

When I am grounded in this belovedness, then I have the strength and resources to let that love flow onto others.

Music in the Homeschool Curriculum

2009-09-09T18:40:00.000-07:00

Since learning that I have a background in music education, a homeschool mom friend of mine asked me recently to help her figure out what to do with music. I felt a pang of guilt as I have not been very consistent about incorporating music into our homeschool at home, and used my poor health as an excuse. Yes, that's right, I have a master's degree in music, but I have taught my children music only sporadically. I am of the opinion that the three R's (reading, writing, arithmetic) come first, followed by history/geography, then science and fine arts, so when I have been short on energy it was enough just to get the three R's and history covered. The way around that has been to hire music teachers to teach the children instruments even though I was capable (but too sick) of teaching them myself. Sometimes I would ask God, "Why? What good is my music degree if I can't use it with my children?" but He has his purposes, and I have learned some measure of contentment.

This year, things are different already. We are not farming out our music instruction. With the Classical Conversations Curriculum Guide (only $25 if you buy an old edition from their website) and a tin whistle (also purchased from their website) I am teaching Caleb to play this simple wind instrument, made for the key of D, on a variety of songs, while Alexa plays along on her flute (she is already quite accomplished from past lessons and band involvement). We spend no more than 15 minutes a day on it, and will probably only need about 6 weeks before he masters the instrument. Then we will move on to other things, like reading aloud The Spiritual Lives of Great Composers by David Cavanaugh. I highly recommend this book. Even with my music degrees--one from a "Christian" university--I am almost completely ignorant of the degree to which the classical composers professed faith in Christ. My Christian college followed the same secularized curricula that has been dished out for a century by nonChristian colleges, so this book has been an eye-opener and a blessing. There is also a sequel, I believe, which I have not yet read.
I have also borrowed The Gift of Music from a friend and recommend it too. So just add to these some classical CDs, play them, name the tunes, and start reading to your kids. Don't be intimidated; you can do it without a music degree!

First Week of School

2009-09-01T20:27:00.000-07:00

So Alexa and Caleb and I have started another year of home school this week. Alexa is academically a senior, but only 16, so we anticipate two more years of high school with her before we graduate her. (That way she can still compete in NCFCA for two more years if she wishes.) Caleb is a seventh grader. After two days I am very pleased with the schedule and curriculum I have chosen to follow (see previous post) and I think the kids are having fun too.

John has returned to teaching this week, and has 22 third graders. He is always sorry to see summer end, but is a good sport about returning. The classes for Covered Bridge Academy have been cancelled this fall for lack of registrants, so John won't be teaching on Thursday nights. I am selfishly happy that his time is freed up. He and we will still be very busy between our kids' involvement in speech club, church responsibilities, and homeschooling.

Aaron is continuing his internship in computer programming with Stephen Hewitt and working nearly fulltime for his brother, Nathan.

My health has remained quite good since coming home from Hawaii. The daily water workouts are the ticket. Thank you Lord!

Loving It at Home

2009-08-24T21:28:00.000-07:00

I haven't said much lately about the theme of this blog: learning contentment and creativity at home as a full-time wife and mother. But I hope by letting you see a little of my personal life in recent blogs, that you can ascertain how full and joyful my life is. I love being at home!

This week my husband and three children-still-at-home are spending a couple of nights at Lake of the Woods, Oregon, camping with other families and friends. I am looking forward to these days of solitude, to do some cramming--er, reading for our homeschool year to start in a week. I am excited about another year to spend learning exciting things with my two youngest children, Alexa and Caleb. Sigh. Only two left. Sounds like a breeze. But I've chosen an ambitious curricular schedule for them, much of it new to me as well as to them, so it will be a challenge. I am utilizing much of the program developed for Classical Conversations by Leigh Bortin. We will study Latin (which I have done before with Naomi) and Biology by Apologia, and good old Saxon for math. We will do a lot of memorization of facts--history timeline by Veritas, grammar facts, Bible verses, science, geography, etc.--Oh, I can hardly wait.

But I am reminded that my enthusiasm will wane as the winter months drag on, and we will probably find ourselves way behind in some things. That's okay. I can make plans, but the Lord will direct my steps. He will give me just enough time to get done just what He wants me to get done. I can rest in that assurance.

Back home from Kauai

2009-08-20T16:47:00.000-07:00

YAY!! I made it to Hawaii and back! It was amazing. God is so good!
I can think of four factors in helping me feel better than I have in years while on Kauai Island. One, many people were praying for me, specifically for my health. Two, my husband was very attentive to my constant demands ("You need all SEVEN pillows to carry on the plane?") and he uncomplainingly carried or dragged every piece of luggage by hand, on wheels, strapped together or slung on his back and front. Three, the airlines were very willing to provide wheelchair assistance at every point in the itinerary. Four, and probably most importantly, I had all the time in the world to swim every day--usually twice a day--in the hotel pool. Ahhh!

I still dealt with pain, and was reminded of its threatening presence when we encountered one short stretch of washboard-type road which jostled my stomach and abdominal muscles badly. But I recovered quickly, and had no other stomach problems. The day we were scheduled to depart from G.P., I had a very crampy stomach, up until THE MINUTE we left. I mean, the MINUTE we were headed for the airport my stomach loosened back up. (I did take meds for that purpose and they worked well that time; they don't always, and have the side effect of dry/sore throat which is bothersome.)
Actually, there are two more reasons I may have done so well. Fifth, I had help from some of my lady-buddies from church with the packing and errands. (Mahalo, Leanne and Jen.) And sixth, the islands have the highest oxygen levels in the world, so they say; I'll have to research that to see if it's true. The air there really is wonderful. It's very humid and has a sweet smell to it.

We stayed in a hotel on the east shore (Kauai Sands) and spent most of our time exploring the north and east shores, with the final day spent on the south shore, where we would like to spend more time if we ever return.
Some highlights:
We rented a mid-size Malibu for the price of an economy car from Alamo because by the time we had stood in line for over an hour they had run out of economy cars. A nice trade-off :). (Thank you Kelly for helping us find a discounting agent.)

2. Kilauea Point Lighthouse and Wildlife Refuge
It poured monsoon-like as we walked up the trail to the lighthouse. My raincoat and John's poncho served only partial coverage. No matter. It was very warm. A little rain (or a lot) would not dampen our spirits. The cyclone Felicia that was due to hit the islands the day we arrived, downgraded quickly into just a lot of rain and wind. Mahalo, Lord! Besides the unusual sea birds, we also saw a baby bird in its burrow right by the trail. Awww...oh, and a seal on the rocks below. (Thanks, Mom for recommending binoculars for this place.)

3. Kauai's Hindu Monastery
Quite an impressive place. The garden is admittedly peace-inducing and beautiful, the temple setting breath-taking. As we entered the building, which had a sign telling us to take our shoes off and enter with "an attitude of worship", I whispered, "We enter with hearts that worship the Lord Jesus Christ." His image was obviously not among the idols. They didn't convince us to join up (relieved?). We went away reminded of the freedom we have in Christ and the joy of coming boldly to our Heavenly Father, knowing that all the work has already been done for us.

4. 'Opaeka'a Falls
See the brown stripes in the water? That's the storm's effects: red clay dumping into the rivers and bays, resulting in very murky beaches lasting a week. These falls usually have two separate streams, but the excess waterflow united them into one big rush. There were Tropicbirds, with their long ribbonlike tails, swooping in figure eights below in the mist; very cool. (Hey, I could join the Red and Purple Hat Club now! No?)

5. Coconut Marketplace, Kapa'a
This shopping center within walking distance of our hotel is in foreclosure. Sales are down 30-40% from a year ago, and half of the spaces are vacant. I don't remember the type of wood this chair I'm sitting in is made of. Do I look like I care?

6. Eggbert's/Hula Girl Grill
I had a mouth-watering Seafood Omelette for breakfast, and Opa Fish w/ sauteed Mushrooms for dinner here, in the Coconut Marketplace. John's clam pasta was unremarkable.

7. Smith's Tropical Paradise
We splurged on one luau, and went to the "Best" one, according to The Ultimate Kauai Guidebook. (Thanks for lending it to us Kelly--it was indispensible, but is a little worse for wear :P) The Smith family's luau is located in a botanical garden and includes a tour of the garden, pig-cooked-in-a-pit-Hawaiian-style ceremony, a free shell lei, a nice dinner, and a fabulous stage show with all the traditional polynesian dances.

8. Hideaways Beach, Princeville
Finally on the sixth day we set out at 7:30am to find a beach with water clear enough for snorkeling. We tried three sites and the third try was charm. The view from the top looking down at the beach was spectacular; the makeshift trail down the cliff was not. I was afraid I would be overtired trying to climb back up; John promised he would "get" me back. I knew there was no way he could carry me up that cliff, but I went for it, and I'm glad I did. My mask kept leaking and I couldn't see without my glasses, so I gave it up, but John succeeded and delighted in coaxing a scad of tropical fishies up to his hands. He was like a kid in a candy shop under water. And he pushed me from behind, back up the cliff trail, after which I wasn't the least bit sore! Mahalo!
I was fanatical about avoiding sunburn, and wore a long-sleeved rashguard shirt for snorkeling. It worked like a champ.

9. John's beachcombing souvenir
On Kalapaki Beach (which had chocolate-brown seas), John rummaged through some driftwood for a good souvenir. He picked up a PVC corner and said, "This looks suspiciously like a PVC corner." I said, "It could be worth a couple bucks!" I was teasing, but I guess I convinced him it was worth keeping. Back at the hotel he discovered a crack in it. We threw it away, but got a picture for memory's sake.

10. Poipu and Spouting Horn
OH! The best for last! The day we were to leave we saw everything we could on the south side of the island, and what a treat it was.
The Grand Hyatt Hotel was spectacular (we had seen the Marriott in Nahwiliwili, which was on the same scale but excessively ostentatious somehow) and its water slides made John comment, "Oh the kids would love this!...I wonder how cheap a room you could get here..." Ha!!
We also had the thrill of spotting some sea turtles in the waves, and ate Puka Dogs at the Poipu shopping center, at our friend Sean's suggestion. MMM-MMM.

Then, to top it off, we saw the Spouting Horn. Wow!

In a little open-air craft fair by the Spouting Horn, John bought me a sterling silver ring for our silver anniversary. It was only $10 and probably worth every penny, but I am very pleased with it.

The return trip was cold. The plane rides to Hawaii were all hot and stuffy or normal temp, so I decided not to carry on a coat on the return flight. Big mistake. After we had already checked in our baggage and about to board in Lihue, we were told at the gate that the feds had confiscated all the airline's blankets and pillows due to the swine flu scare, and that if we wanted any wraps we should get them out and ready before boarding. By then it was too late. The 5-1/2 hour flight was FREEZING. I at least had long pants to put on; John just had his shorts and short-sleeve shirt on his back. He covered his knees with napkins and wore a Winco bag over his chest :). His one consolation was that his sunburn didn't suffer from heat. It was a nighttime flight, but we didn't sleep much.

Then we had a 10-hour layover in Portland, which was thankfully reduced to seven hours by going on standby on an earlier flight, but the PDX terminal was also FREEZING while outside it got up to nearly 100 degrees. Of course, they don't let you go outside for awhile anywhere once you're through security, so we froze--until we got to the Medford airport where it was 105 degrees outside.

I forgot to mention that we visited Kauai Reformation Church on Sunday and met some folks who were formerly from OR and CO who know mutual friends. It is a church plant of Oceanside United Reformed Church with about 40 attendees, and they have had a pastor for only two months. That afternoon, John checked out Waimea Canyon and Kalalau Valley while I rested in the hotel. He also hiked up to the top of Sleeping Giant earlier in the week.

Oh, I could go on some more, but this is probably more than you care to know. A-LOHHH-HA!

Countdown to Hawaii

2009-08-07T22:26:00.000-07:00

Four more days! John and I will celebrate our 25th anniversary Tuesday, and God willing we will fly to Kauai that day for a week. I have been doing pretty well this week, so I am praying for the good stretch to continue right through the trip.

My biggest challenge is the travel to Hawaii. I fancied I could do this last October when I bought reservations because there would be minimal driving necessary. I think it will be easier to fly--no jostling and vibrations like road travel, and I can get up and move around--but we will see. Getting enough sleep is another big concern. We will fly back through the night and take all day for connecting flights, but then I will be home and can crash if I need to.

I also can't really be in the sun much, because it makes my candida bloom and my feet swell. Nor can I eat fruit and melons for the same reason. But I look forward to all that good fish and seafood. Yum...

On another note: This week we finally bit the bullet and decided to drill for more water on our acre. We went to 300 feet and got a little over 5 gallons per minute. Not spectacular, but better than we did have. It has certainly cut into our finances, but God has provided. Thank you Lord!

Family Plans

2009-07-27T19:12:00.000-07:00

Alexa, Caleb and John are hurriedly packing, cooking and preparing for a three-night camping trip to central Oregon. They are very excited, but Alexa is subdued by the fact that Aaron cannot come for the first time. His work schedule requires him to stay home.

Alexa tends to get quite nostalgic about her older siblings leaving and often wishes time would stand still "so life can just go on like it always has". I said to her, "Well, I guess that's a normal feeling". It wasn't my experience growing up, but then I was raised in the institutional schools where I had learned to live without my family for the bulk of my waking hours, and I felt very little grief or homesickness when I left home and went off to college. That is, what I did feel I pretty much ignored or suppressed. After all, I was doing the smart and best thing, right? So I am glad my children have bonded so much with each other that they miss each other alot when change happens.

I stopped going on camping trips since our cross-country trip to Kentucky in 1996. My body just can't handle the travel and all the extra work. But I am feeling well enough to not be afraid of John's absence for three days. I think I will be able to get by on my own.

I saw all of my grandsons yesterday :). Brock was at church for his very first visit, and Boone and James were at the park. I praise Jesus for another good day of health allowing me to enjoy them.

Best National News in a Long Time

2009-07-21T11:16:00.000-07:00

This article at World Net Daily brought me much cheer as John read it to me this morning. This is such exciting news!

Now 36 states are considering taking the Tenth Amendment at its word! What a great flourish for Sarah Palin as one of her last acts as governor. State sovereignty is not secession, but it could rejuvenate our republic like nothing else will.

Alaska's resolution states:
"Be it resolved that the Alaska State Legislature hereby claims sovereignty for the state under the Tenth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States over all powers not otherwise enumerated and granted to the federal government by the Constitution of the United States.

Be it further resolved that this resolution serves as Notice and Demand to the federal government to cease and desist, effective immediately, mandates that are beyond the scope of these constitutionally delegated powers."
Now if the rest of the states will actually pass similar legislation…pray! It could mean we could take back Federally-held logging lands for Oregon and return to prosperity once again.

And once state sovereignty is established, I propose the next Declaration of Independence for the People of Oregon:
Those powers not delineated in the State Constitution to the state of Oregon are referred to The People, as given to them by their Creator God.
I’ll be the first signer! Let King Barack do what he will, my John Hancock goes there.
Arden Sleadd

To Be In The House of the Lord

2009-07-19T22:12:00.001-07:00

I did make it to church, and shared with tears how encouraging everyone has been and what God is doing in my walk with him. It was so good!
One new-to-the-church sister who ministered to me had her baby and three sons in the car when she drove me to the Y this week. So when I saw them at church the three young boys were so solicitous to help me and pray with me. It is a rare thing for young boys to show such adult-level caring for an 51-year-old like me!
When I came home this afternoon I laid down, and actually got a three-hour nap! Hallelujah!
When I say I am "improved", it only means (at this point) that I have gotten sufficient rest and have behaved myself enough to get the pain down. It is not an indication of real improvement. But I live by faith and take it a day at a time.
And by the way, my health blog has a different address now: www.myfmsjourney.blogspot.com. I updated it last week with more details of the struggle. Have a good week all of you! God bless!

Some improvement, and lots of prayer

2009-07-18T20:39:00.001-07:00

Last Sunday as I lay back in bed, still in pain, the church descended on my house. There was to be a baptism here after the church service. I had managed to take a bath and get myself dressed, but at a cost. I didn't want to socialize; I knew I would pay a price of more energy than I had to spare. But John came in and said there were some ladies of the church, asking if they could come in to pray for me. I said, "Of course they can," and it was a precious time of receiving their prayers as they laid their hands on me. I was crying as they prayed such sweet words. Afterwards I joked, "well, now that you've seen my messy bedroom, there isn't much left to hide."
This week several of those ladies have come to minister to me in physical help. Thank you so much, dear friends!
Another gal at the Y prayed for me today while we dressed in the dressing room. I am so surrounded by God's people and His goodness.
I have elected to cut out all socializing and save up for church tomorrow. That meant missing the concert my son directed at the church last night, and another fun gathering tonight, but I can't enjoy myself for very long when the energy drains away and pain returns. So I am looking forward to seeing my beloved sisters and friends at church tomorrow!

On another note: Did I announce I now have three grandsons? Our third grandson, Brock,was born July 10. He is sooo cute!

A health update

2009-07-13T20:07:00.000-07:00

There I lay, face down on the mattress, unable to move. At least I had dried myself off. I called out to Alexa. No answer. I called out John, and he heard me. What a relief!
The Lord has been gracious to provide my husband within calling range two of the three times this has happened since Memorial Day.

So while laid up in bed I have had lots of time to read; I read Waiting for a Miracle and Trapped in Hitler’s Hell by Jan Markell. The first book is written by a woman with the same condition I have (CFS, EBV). I recommend it to anyone who wants to understand chronic illness better. It’s the first book I’ve found that gets the spiritual side of it right.
The second book about a Jew-turned-Christian in WWII helps keep my state in perspective. I live in such luxury here in our beautiful home with people who love and serve me. No one is forcing me to get up at 4 am to work in the wind or heat for 10 hours a day. I have all the medical help known to man available to me. The fact that I’m sitting up and able to type for now is good. John never complains when I need prescriptions picked up, or a back rub for the knotted muscles, or just his presence for comfort. He and the children are running the household quite well without me. I also have been sleeping better since doubling the dose of my sleeping pills, but the sleep has not been sufficiently restorative.

I can’t help but think our Hawaii anniversary trip next month will not be possible, but I’m trying to take one day at a time. I am more and more aware of God’s presence around, in and about me, sustaining my every breath. He doesn’t just know me, he permeates me with his Spirit. As long as I keep that in mind, I can hand over to Him every discouraging thought with the rejoinder, “Jesus is here and He saves now!” I have much to be thankful for.

2009-05-28T20:46:00.000-07:00

My third-born child, Aaron is now graduated from high school. He went through commencement May 19th with 14 fellow homeschooled students. He and many of them gave inspiring speeches. It was very impressive to see. I was so proud!

Here he is with four of his fellow-grad friends, Natalie, Tait, Dylan, and Kaila. All are members of Clarion Forensics Club, a highly popular social outlet as well as excellent source of academic training for teens. (See http://www.clarionforensics.com/)

Now Aaron is hired by his older brother Nathan, who is so swamped with work that he can keep Aaron very busy as well. God is so good!

Woman Come Home - Chapter 2

2009-05-28T20:42:00.000-07:00

Six years ago when John and I started Covered Bridge Family Ministries, I presented an article at our first family seminar called, “Woman Come Home: My Personal Journey from Career Woman to Contented Homemaker”. You can read the article as my first entry on this blog. As the name of the article implies, I am on a journey to achieving contentment in the home; I have not arrived. I’m still a sinner. So this is sequel to that article.
I want to start off by honoring my mother today (Mother's Day). My husband and children would concur with me that Grandma Voyla is a very loving, nurturing, caring person. She has the instinct of a mother. She would love to gather the whole world under her wings like a mother hen gathers her chicks if she could. Somewhere along the line, however, this nurturing instinct was not passed on to me. I am much more task-oriented than people-oriented. My mother has said that I tended to keep my business to myself and didn’t talk much when I was younger. I believe part of the reason I didn’t turn out like her is that I didn’t have much time with her. I attended 13 years of public school, four years of college to get my teaching degree, and another year in graduate school for my masters. That’s a lot of seat-hours spent away from Mom. In addition, my mother returned to the work force when I was only four years old and my sister was two. I understand why she went back to work; she has explained to me that my father was so sparse with the praise and heavy on the criticism that, in her words, “I would have become a nothing if I’d stayed home”. So, she sought personal affirmation from the working world.
Kevin Swanson, in his article, “The Re-integrated Family and the Return of Love,” pointed out that forty years ago, when I was about ten, only about 2% of children under six were without their moms during the daytime hours. That figure is now at 64%. I was one of those 2%; my sister and I were latch-key children before such a term existed. I’m here to tell you, it was a lonely existence. When Mom came home late from work, I could tell she was too tired or distracted to go deep with me. I somehow thought that my experiences at school were my own burden to bear.
When my husband and I married, we determined that we would do things differently; I would stay home with the children. There was one big problem; I had spent my life preparing myself for the working world outside the home; my mother had modeled that paradigm for me; and I didn’t know how to be content in the home.
In my article I describe how I ended up working part-time anyway while our two eldest children were born, and how I was faced with the stark reality that I was repeating history; I had lost my daughter’s heart; and she was only two or three. Due to financial choices we had made, it took me another year or two to finally come home for good. But you see, there was still the issue of my own heart. I had also thrown myself into volunteer work. When I was home, I had found myself on the phone, cooking up more commitments. I gave prolife speeches in the high schools; I debated Planned Parenthood on the college campuses, on radio and television; I led a Concerned Women for America chapter, and was in the church choir. You see, I was still seeking strokes from the adult world, just as my mother had. Whenever I got on the phone, I noticed my children would suddenly create a crisis, interrupting me and trying to get my attention. As soon as I got off, they would settle down and be fine. They were competing with the telephone for my attentions. They knew they didn’t have my heart.
Oh, and did I mention I was in Bible Study Fellowship too? Well, that was probably my best decision. We were studying the Life of David one week, and we got to the chapter where King David shares his desire to build a temple for the Lord with the prophet Nathan. The Lord gave Nathan a message, and these words were like a sword into my heart: “(I Chronicles 17:4) Thus says the Lord: It is not you who will build me a house to dwell in…Moreover, I declare to you that I, the Lord will build you a house. When your days are fulfilled to walk with your fathers, I will raise up your offspring after, one of your own sons, and I will establish his kingdom.” When I read that, I knew beyond any doubt that these words were for me. God was saying, “All this work you are doing for me is good—the babies you’re trying to save, the church work, the political changes you’re working for—but it’s not what I have called you to do.”
Well, I argued with God. “But Lord, I’ve made all these commitments, I’ve started a new prolife council, etc. etc. I can’t afford to be flakey!” So I didn’t hear directly from the Lord anymore. But what did happen was that my health went south—fast.
In ‘92, six months after I had quit teaching and come home, I became very ill with hypothyroidism and fibromyalgia. The chronic pain and fatigue are still progressing today, seventeen years later, in spite of my visiting at least sixteen different doctors and trying dozens of treatments.
That was the same year I had started homeschooling my children. Naomi was four, Nathan was two, and I had a newborn, Aaron. (He’s graduating from high school next week.) I had thought, if I can teach other people’s children, I can certainly teach my own. But here I was, getting sick and sicker. I wanted desperately to do right by my children—to give them my best, my all—and now I didn’t know if I’d have the strength.
It has been and still is a struggle. When I am in pain, I tend to be more stressed and irritable. I will push myself through the pain, and deal too harshly with the children. They often don’t know what In the world is wrong with Mom. Sometimes I don’t know myself. Then when the pain lifts temporarily, I feel so much better that I tend to be aggressive, trying to catch up for lost time. My husband has often said, “You must be feeling better. You’re getting feisty again.” There were some years when I was so debilitated by the pain that John stepped in and put four of our children in public school. (Caleb was still preschool-age, so I kept him and taught him at home, by hook and by crook.) Those were the darkest four years of my life. The constant pain, along with my sense of failure and uselessness, caused a lot of deep depression. We soon realized we were losing all our children’s hearts in a hurry, and John finally came to the conclusion that if necessary, he would homeschool them himself while working fulltime, and he brought them back home. I was so relieved.
I have found various ways to keep going, managing the household and homeschooling my five children. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. I haven’t time share the details of our curricular methods.
Jesus said, “Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” I have learned that my greatest gift from God—my greatest treasure—is my life, and my life is measured in time. The greatest treasure I have to give my children is my time. And though it’s a struggle even now to give them my heart, because of my past choices, I know God will honor His promises and raise up my children to build a house on a sure foundation that will last forever.
Two words of advice I have for mothers and young ladies aspiring to be mothers.
1. Guard your heart.
2. Give up your rights.
We women must guard our own hearts from being seduced by the world’s voices that say it’s more satisfying out there, away from home, than it is being at home with our children. We must guard the way we spend our time, choosing activities that will help us be content with the limitless possibilities that await us in our own homes. Then we can more effectively guard our children’s hearts from the influences of the world that continually call out to them.
And we must give up our right, to have control of our time, and our right to adult companionship. Jesus said, “He who seeks to save his life shall lose it; but he who seeks to lose his life for my sake shall find it.” There is indeed great joy awaiting us if we seek his kingdom first, and all these things shall be added to us.
Now the leaders and founders of Household of Faith Community Church say that we are not a homeschool church. We are a parental discipleship church. I take that to mean whatever model works best for parents to maximize the time they spend with their children in order to make them their primary disciples, that’s the schooling model they should choose. I admit I am not without bias; I think the superior model for discipling children is through homeschooling them. I can’t think of a better way to have the most and best of your time with your children than to homeschool them. Our primary reason is relational. Elizabeth Smith wrote an article called “10 Reasons to Homeschool Teens”. Her #1 reason is: “Cement family relationships. Relationships are the most important thing in family life. When teens are away from home for six to eight hours a day, subtle changes begin to erode relationships at home. Divided allegiance or “serving two masters” can shake their foundation. THE RESULT IS DIMINISHED FAMILY TIES AND PARENTAL INFLUENCE.” She also says, “Age/grade isolation or segregation inhibits socialization.” This was certainly our experience.
Are you making your children your primary disciples? Do you have their heart? Do they have yours?
I often ask myself that question and wonder. I have indeed come a long way, through God’s severe mercy upon me, in re-prioritizing my time, but I often have a hunch that if I weren’t still sick, I would be saying yes to too many “good” options to fill my time, which would divert my attention and energies away from my children, and now my grandchildren. I would love to be taking on tutoring students, or teaching this class or leading that women’s bible study or discussion group. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t picture myself doing such things. And then reality sets in and I must tell myself “no”. I can say, however, that I am very content in my own home now. I do wish I could practice more hospitality there. The hardest part is saying no to John, who I’m sure is disappointed that I don’t have guests over very often. I only know God must have his reasons. I also God will heal me, someday. The only question is, when?

One Day in the Life of the Sleadd Household

2009-03-22T17:47:00.000-07:00

Practical Homeschooling magazine runs a monthly feature written by homeschooling mothers that details the usual schedule in their family's lives. As it has always fascinated me to found out what really happens in everyone's else's home, I thought I might try my hand at describing how the Sleadds do real life, er, home school. This will be a typical workday during the academic season, which for us is roughly nine months, mirroring the institutional schedule. (We've tried year-round school, at least with math, and it usually lasts about one week into June before we give it up. Who knows, maybe this year will be different...) Bear in mind that we have launched our two eldest children into marriage, with three children remaining at home. Aaron is a senior this year, Alexa is a junior, and Caleb is in 6th grade. John is bi-vocational as a pastor and a 4th-grade public school teacher. I am a WAHM (see previous posts), with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue/pain (read: If I can homeschool, so can you!).

So here is our typical school-day schedule:

5:00am John rises, showers, has coffee, personal devotions
6:00am John rousts the children out of bed for personal devotions
6:30am John and children read one chapter from the Bible round-robin aloud together; they discuss the content, he asks questions, shares his observations. Then one of the children is called on to lead in prayer, a different child for each day of the week. They agree in prayer for certain friends, church and family members, missionaries, government leaders, etc.
7:00am John leaves for work. The children find some breakfast for themselves, do grooming, and morning chores as indicated on weekly chore chart, posted in kitchen. I get up (I have to move slowly in the morning or I won't make it through the day), have personal devotions and breakfast, and ensure the children are getting their morning jobs done.
8:30am "School" starts. (Well, the academic part does. The chores are just as important for character- and life-skill training as the academics. )
The first hour of the school day is what I call the Recitation Hour. During this time we gather on the comfortable sofas of our living room, with a fire in the woodstove if necessary, and I give direct and interactive instruction to them all together. (Aaron, however, has started to work independently from us during this time. I think he would benefit if he was still with us for this hour, but he has asserted his independence on this point, and I have acquiesced. Because he is so responsible with scheduling his use of time, I felt I can afford to let him have his head as he attains to manhood.)
The Recitation Hour is roughly broken into three 20-minute periods for three subjects. I and each of the children have a two-ring file-card binder and a pencil in our hands during this time. The first period is spent on Bible memory work. I select verses from the scripture portions being studied at our church, or as the Spirit leads. We copy the verses on cards and keep them in the binder, to flip through and review as needed. Then we recite them together for a few weeks until they are well-memorized, adding new verses while rotating through old ones on occasion.
The second and third subjects I cover during the remainder of that time varies from month to month. Currently I am teaching them grammar and reading poetry. They are taking notes on the grammar in their card binder as well, and I review with them some of the basic definitions and concepts of grammar from those cards.
I currently use Warriner's Grammar, First Course. I keep it simple. I read aloud a page or two from the text book, help them take notes on their cards, and we orally work a few exercises together.
During the first half of the year we used this time for Spelling and Vocabulary. I used The Writing Road To Reading's Ayers' List to test each child, and they copied all their mispelled words into the card binder for future review. When I ran out of words from that list for the older child, I used the vocabulary words from our Robinson Curriculum. I have done this simultaneously with all the children, going around the room, one at a time giving them a word to spell orally, a la spelling bee. For some reason, the children have expressed enjoyment in learning spelling this way more than most anything else. Go figure!
I just administered a Basic Skills practice test (http://www.basicskills.net/) to Caleb and Alexa last week, and found that their spelling and vocabulary skills are excellent. What they are lagging in is mechanics (punctuation)--the part of Warriner's I haven't gotten to this year. So we are hitting punctuation hard for the next two months before they take the real test in May.
While we work on this, Aaron is usually working on his computer programming homework. Aaron is being apprenticed by a programmer-friend, who meets with him once a week in his home. The arrangement has been a great blessing.
9:30-12:30am Individualized school work.
With direct instruction done, we discuss what each child needs to accomplish for the rest of the day, and they write their tasks in their student planners. Then I set them loose to do what they need to do.
Caleb has been spending the remainder of the morning on: geography, math, and research.
For geography, we have used the National Geographic website http://www.nationalgeographic.com/ extensively as a resource for our study this year. He competed in our cooperative-academy's geography bee last January. It was a good motivator for both of us and found it very fun!
For math, Caleb is in Saxon Math 65. He can usually do the lessons on his own, and asks for help as necessary. He also researches for his writing assignments, which are geography-related, on the internet.
Alexa uses her morning for physics, debate, and math. I have been hosting a Physics study group with her and Aaron and three other homeschooled teens. They are preparing for the AP Physics test using Apologia Physics and Advanced Physics textbooks. On occasion they have emailed Apologia with questions, but for the most part they have been self-teaching straight from the texts. On Tuesday afternoons these five teens meet together in our home to do the module experiments and discuss the lesson content. This has been a boon to their science knowledge.
Alexa competed this year in LD debate with our local speech club, and as the topic of this year's debate resolution was very philosophical, she has been reading some heady stuff about the Greeks, pragmatism vs. idealism, etc.
Aaron also spends this time on physics and computer homework. On Wednesdays, after he goes to his computer training session, he also does our weekly grocery shopping for me, and stocks the family-owned snack machine at the YMCA for some income on the side.
While the children work, I am in the kitchen cleaning up, thinking about meals, answering emails, and fielding any phone calls or other interruptions. I consider my job, as gate-keeper of the home, is to ensure a good environment for learning. No music other than soft instrumental classical music is allowed during study time. Nor can they use headphones to listen to music. Talking, joking and singing is discouraged, unless they are directly helping each other with homework. Sometimes to blow off steam, I tell them to run around the house three times before continuing with school work. This can help break up the monotony.
12:30pm Lunch and Chores. The children again refer to the chore chart for their assigned chores: laundry, dishes, vacuuming, collecting and washing eggs, etc.
1:30pm School resumes. The children work independently again. Caleb does writing, mandolin practice, and reading. Alexa does apologetics writing, research and reading. She has been competing in apologetics with the speech club this year, and writes new "cards" to add to her file. I have compiled and refined an assigned K-12 reading list that is a combination of the Robinson Curriculum core reading and my own books in our personal library. Aaron and Alexa have finished reading most of the books on the list and have four more for the year. Caleb has been my most avid reader, and I have had to augment the list with more books appropriate to his reading level.
Alexa at age 15 is also a gifted blog writer, artist, illustrator, seamstress and photographer, as well as main cook in the family. She fills her time quite well, with little direction from me.
3:30 or 4:00pm School is over; I go to the YMCA for my water workout (three times a week) or run errands, and sometimes the kids go with me to swim, climb the wall, or run at the park. Alexa or I fix dinner. John comes home.
5:30-7:0pm Dinner, Devotions, Kitchen Cleanup. This is one of my favorite times of the day. We talk about the day's happenings, the news, and John reads from a devotional from R.C. Sproul's Table Talk. The boys do the dishes.
The rest of the evening may be spent at the computer, reading the paper, reading aloud to each other, playing a game, or what-have-you. Our Tuesday nights are for speech club, which the children love, and John usually coaches. Wednesday nights are date night for John and I, and we often go visit our grown children on that night. The rest of the week we try to be at home.

I love being home. I love our family life. I love what God has called me to do. We have our spats and conflicts, but we keep short accounts, ask forgiveness, and work through the messiness. Family life is GOOD!

Sleadd family year-end newsletter

2009-01-15T13:24:00.000-08:00

It is Christmas Day as I (Arden) begin this letter. Our celebration of Christmas started two days ago, when Naomi and Nathan’s families joined us for corn chowder, gift-exchange, playing with the grandson, scrapbooking, entertaining my grandson, munching on snacks, lighting candles, watching The Nativity Story, and did I mention my grandson?
I have been pondering and treasuring many things in my heart today. We have kept a 25-year Christmas scrapbook since John and I married, and this year we are filling the last page with our newsletter and memories. Naomi shares an interest in scrapbooking and memory-keeping, as she sells Creative Memories products. She and I scrapbooked together, and I loved that time. So much has happened these 25 years. How can life be so full? How can my heart hold so much?

MARRIAGE AND CHURCH
Far and away the main event in the Sleadd household this year was Nathan’s courtship, engagement and marriage on October 25th to Colleen McMurray. Colleen and her parents Robin and Brad, and my buddy Carla Deems directed a wedding to beat all weddings. God provided many favors, and Christ was glorified at every turn. Alexa was a bridesmaid; Aaron was a groomsman, and Caleb a lantern-bearer. Nathan and Colleen, both 19, came home from their two-week honeymoon in Leavenworth, WA with the news that they were pregnant. Their honeymoon baby is due July 22nd.
The church is a central feature of our lives. Coram Deo Church www.coramdeogp.org has some of our sweetest friends. John is pastoring the church for his second year part-time while teaching fulltime at Highland Elementary. He preaches twice a month and the children join him to lead worship once a month. There is much participation in each service by the young people, and easily 40% of our church is composed of teenagers. We have moved to a better location with an awesome kitchen, and our weekly shared meals are a high point in our social life. We anticipate a name change to Household of Faith Community Church, www.hofgp.org, as we affiliate with the consociation by the same name (www.hofcc.org). Alexa says, “I love our church!”

MORE HIGHLIGHTS OF 2008
• Naomi, Colleen, Alexa and I hosted a Thanksgiving celebration for 25 people in our home. You can see more pictures on Alexa’s Facebook page. The girls brought their china, I got out my silver, and Alexa decorated the tables fabulously. We dressed up as Pilgrims and Indians; each person shared what they were thankful for; we played a Pilgrim Trivia game, ate turkey, made pumpkin ice cream, staged a paper boat race and played a hootin’ good game of Guesstures.
• Nathan and Colleen were blessed to secure a guest-house apartment from our friends Bryan and Lori Scott. Several work parties were organized to remodel the interior of the apartment, (see also Alexa’s blog, mylifecompiled.blogspot.com).
• Naomi and Nathanael announced their expectancy of #2 the same weekend as Nathan’s engagement, right after July 4th. Naomi is due in March. They sold their trailer home a week before Christmas in spite of economic turbulence. PTL!
• Aaron received the Iron Man Award at regional speech competition last spring, having placed and qualified in six speech events plus LD debate. He and Alexa took two first places with their duo interpretive The Elephant’s Child . They qualified for Regionals but were one place short of qualifying for Nationals. This year Alexa is the only Sleadd competing, in LD debate, impromptu, and apologetics. I count 32 medals and four trophies accumulating in our study (okay, I’m bragging!).

• Aaron has been spending his Wednesdays at our friend Stephen Hewitt’s home learning about HTML, web design, and other computer stuff. Aaron aspires to be a computer programmer. He will be graduating from high school this spring. He has also taken over the snack-machine business from Nathan, with a new machine I helped him buy for the YMCA location.

• John launched Covered Bridge Academy, a home school cooperative, last fall. Seven classes were offered; John taught beginning speech, and I taught writing. I am also facilitating an AP Physics class which Aaron and Alexa are taking. The Academy has received a scholarship for the start of our Family Choir, which has four families presently and is directed by Ron Strom.
• Caleb joined Aaron in the egg production business this spring with 20 new chicks. Recall our story last year of the slaughtering raccoons? Well, this spring all but two chicks were killed, perhaps by a skunk, in one night. This year we were not so charmed by the cute critters. Nathanael lent us a live trap, and we dispatched two skunks and one raccoon. The boys bought another 18 chicks and they are now grown and laying brown eggs like crazy, even in sub-freezing temperatures. You can buy some from them for $3 a dozen.

• In October I began antiviral treatment for HHV-6 and EBV. These viruses are among those suspected to cause chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. I am hoping that this will finally be the answer to curing my 17-year illness.
• My parents have had serious health issues this year. Dad has been on the edge of eternity several times. His foot was amputated this month and is spending Christmas in a nursing home. My mother battled breast cancer for the second time while trying to care for my dad. I am frustrated by my own health keeping me from being more helpful and leaving the work to my sister Julia, bless her heart. Tomorrow we will attempt to brave the snow over the pass and visit them.
• John and I hit the big 5-0 this year. I planned a surprise birthday party for him, and he really was surprised. He thought it was just another pool party at the Scotts’.
• For our 24th anniversary in August we spent time at Lake of the Woods. The weather was perfect, while back home it was baking. There were millions of butterflies throughout the camp. How romantic. We love being married. This year we re-instituted a weekly marriage-date-night, and I recommend it for anyone. For our 25th we have reservations to go to Kauai Island, Hawaii. It will be John’s first time to visit the islands. I hope and pray that my treatment will cure me by then, or I will be well enough to make the trip.
• After building a business from the ground up for four years, Nathan put up a new website last spring for ziplinegear.com and sales took off running. When business boogies, he hires helpers among friends and siblings. With no debt to pay, he is making enough to support his new family; not bad for a 19-year-old.
In Christ’s Love,
Arden for the Sleadds
Thoughts from John
Life is a workshop, and we are all works in progress. I say this because I have been spending long, blissful hours in my garage during Christmas vacation building cabinets for Alexa. Her craft clutter had begun to spread like a flood, offering the perfect excuse for me to buy a new table saw and launch into a woodworking project. I picked up a new belt sander, shop vac and quick-grip clamps, too. O the joys of ripping, chopping, routing, clamping and sanding. A man is in his element when he dances to the buzz and whir of spinning blades. Now that I’ve finished the cabinets, allow me to wax reflective on the passing year.
Last January I got ordained as pastor by Bear Creek Church in Medford, Oregon. I’m still waiting for the pastor police to show up some Sunday morning and cart me off for impersonating a real reverend. I can’t claim to really know what I’m doing, but whatever it is, I love it and I can’t help but do more of it. I get to study and talk about the best Book ever written, and try to live out what it says with fellow fans of the sovereign, triune Author. Last year I preached 30 sermons. This means that the talented men of God with whom I share the pulpit got to preach the other 22. I’m really just a cheerleader for Christ and a recruiter for kingdom servants. I enjoy watching others excel at teaching and I hope to expand our church’s preaching and leadership team in 2009.
For fair weather frolics the kids and I enjoyed camping with the Holst family at Silver Falls, and we joined the Bear Creek Church campers at Howard Prairie Lake. We tried to squeeze in a cool backpacking trip before school resumed, but it got cancelled due to smoky forest fires.
For a good portion of 2008 I duked it out with chronic shoulder pain until pouring concrete sidewalks by our pool cured me. Right now things are in relatively good working order as long as I don’t break dance, do acrobatics or jujitsu with my fifty-year-old bod.
In September I wrapped up my one-year leave of absence from teaching and reported for duty at Highland Elementary School, where I now teach fourth grade. Being a bi-vocational pastor can be a challenge, but I enjoy the fruitful labor of working with young minds and a great staff. The high percentage of students who live in broken homes is a strong reminder of the urgent need for family restoration in the American divorce culture.
With graying beard and ever-present reading glasses, I am looking more and more the part of a grandpa. I’m thrilled to cackle and burble with my grandson, Boone, at every opportunity. Now that two of my wee tikes have grown up into parents, I’m reminded how fun it was/is to be a dad. “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!” (Psalm 127:3-4).
May God’s abundant blessings draw you to Himself. -John

Thanksgiving at our House

2008-12-02T21:10:00.001-08:00

Mommy's got a baby in there! Awwww...
Our friends the Emmons Sisters and two Deems kids...aka friendly Indian warriors.
Airsoft target practice is serious business for Creighton Deems aka Pilgrim, er, maybe Myles Standish?
And the Deems family in their garb. Mark is the one pretending to be Pilgrim Barney.
We all look rather un-authentic, but Alexa comes closest with her newly-acquired braces :).

Church News, and I'm Now on Facebook

2008-12-02T20:17:00.000-08:00

We took quite a few pictures at church Sunday since it was our last time to meet at Lincoln Elementary. We are moving to Gateway Christian Fellowship, which is a Seventh Day Adventist church and therefore has Sunday open for our use. We are thankful to the Lord for opening this opportunity to us. This first pic shows Drew Deems offering you some hospitality.

Also, our church name is in the process of being changed. We will probably become Household of Faith Community Church, Grants Pass. It fits our style quite a bit better. Coram Deo was just too foreign for people to understand, and gave the impression of our being perhaps "high-church". Which we're not. See our website www.coramdeogp.org, soon to be www.hofgp.org.
Here is the Deems family leading worship: Creighton, Dylan, Tait, Mark, and Carla.

After our weekly shared meal, Elder Brad McMurray is leading the basses here hrough their part on O Come O Come Immanuel. I was feeling chipper enough to lead the group in learning parts. (Thank you, Lord.) Colleen helped play the parts at piano. I'm in the mood for Christmas already!
Here are most of the folks there after the shared meal. We had several families gone for Thanksgiving.

So, you can find me on Facebook now. Alexa says she can upload pictures easier there than on blogspot, and I have to keep up with my kids and what they post in cyberspace. It's been kind of fun to catch up with some friends I haven't seen in years!

Nathan's Wedding

2008-11-25T21:01:00.000-08:00

It's been a month since my son Nathan was married to Colleen McMurray. The new Mr. and Mrs. Sleadd came home from their honeymoon and promptly ended up in Urgent Care, where they found out she was pregnant! They had hoped for such a result. YippEE!! I realize it's a shock to the sensibilities of some folks that two people getting married might want to start their family right away, but I have said to my children: If you're not ready for a family, you're not ready to get married! It is quite different advice than we received when John and I married, and we thought we needed to "wait" since that was the prevailing wisdom, after all, "You need some time for just the two of you". My answer to that now is, "Well, they always get nine months!"
With our children following the courtship model, and their dad doing his job, they known their future spouses from the get-go much better than most marrying couples do nowadays. We help them determine if they are ready financially and spiritually, so when all lights are green, we say, "You're ready for children!" So far, our two married children, Naomi and Nathan, are following our advice. Naomi is expecting #2. I'll have two more grandchildren in 2009. What a lot of fun!

For pictures of the wedding see Alexa's blog: mylifecompiled.blogspot.com.

More Blessings to Count

2008-11-25T20:43:00.000-08:00

I have some more blessings to enumerate. I am teaching--no, facilitating a Physics class for five teens in my home, two of which are my own. These young people are joy to work with. We have fun and laugh in the midst of some pretty heavy, heady discussions about Newtonian physics, Einstein's theories, and how God is in all and through all without being part of His Creation. I am thankful for Tait, Dylan, Jachin, Aaron, and Alexa as they bring added spice to my life. Thanks, you guys!

Gobble Gobble Gobble!

2008-11-25T20:21:00.000-08:00

I am so thankful for Thanksgiving! This year we are hosting 25 people at our house. I have a new daughter-in-love, Colleen, who is trying to fix the turkey in the midst of morning sickness (pray for her); and my eldest Naomi has taken on the planning of the meal. She has delegated all the yummy food out and there will be plenty! My mouth is watering already.
It is time to count up my many blessings. In spite of a looming economic crisis and Obama presidency, our lives continue much the same, so far. Our needs are well-supplied in abundance. We are paying our mortgage down ahead of schedule, even while increasing medical expenditures and ordering orthodontia for Alexa. The gas prices are back down below $2 a gallon after exceeding $4 just weeks ago. And all my children are in the faith, by all appearances and professions. What more could I ask for?!?
I do pray that America will return to its heritage. That's why I wrote a Pilgrim Trivia quiz to use on our feast day; my children and grandchildren will know the truth of their forefathers and hopefully emulate them. If you would like the file of the quiz, email me for it at cbfm@charter.net.

An open letter to Sarah Palin: Woman Come Home

2008-10-12T18:18:00.001-07:00

Sarah Palin, I marvel at you. No one has captured the imagination of Americans and won our hearts like this since Lady Di become the Crown Prince of England's fiance'. I generally don't allow myself to engage in celebrity-worship, but I find myself trying to do up my hair like yours. You are winsome, beautiful, and articulate. You have rejuvenated the McCain candidacy spectacularly. You were the smartest decision McCain ever made, from his campaign's viewpoint. I like what you stand for--your prolife views, your determination to made true change in government, to peel away our dependence on government, get rid of earmarks, and restore sanity to our energy policies.
However, I can't help but wonder what is happening to your family. I can relate to you somewhat; I grew up and attended public school in Alaska; I have five children in the same age range as yours; I have been politically active and pursued a teaching career. But I have found out the hard way that it it is not in the best interest of my children to have my best hours spent away from home. It is not good, even when they hit high school, as your now-pregnant-out-of-wedlock daughter demonstrates. I have heard it said that most teen pregnancies occur between the hours of 3 and 5pm--after school, at home, before Mom gets home from work. You weren't at the gate, watching for your daughter.

Titus 2 tells us women to be keepers of the home. The greek word for "keeper" means a guard, like a doorkeeper that guards the door from hostile entry. A mother needs to guard her home, and those who God has entrusted to her care. It has become nearly impossible to properly guard our children while they attend public school. The sexual pressures are far too strong for even Christian young people to resist.

When I shared my opinion about this to my mother, she said, "Now Arden, you know there are a lot of Christian parents who have had this happen to them." I realize that--and they too can probably look back and see where they made mistakes--when they let their guard down, and how they lost their children. I too am fallible. I rely on my good Christian mom-friends to help remind me to stay on top of the blogosphere my children use for virtual socializing. They can lose their hearts just as easily over the net as in person. (At least they can't get pregnant.)

But I digress. Sarah Palin, do you have your children's hearts? Do your children know they have your heart? And what will you do when you realize their hearts are slipping away? Do you have the courage to resign from your place of power and come home?

For what does it profit a woman if she changes the world but loses her own children?

Pics

2008-10-12T18:03:00.001-07:00

This is Boone, Grandpa John, and Danny the cockatiel, the latter who sadly has passed from this life. He belonged to my parents, and they have a new cockatiel as of this week. Then another picture of Boone in my front yard--is he adorable or what?!? Lastly, my sons Aaron, Nathan, daughter Alexa, husband John and I pose in the colonial outfits Alexa sewed for all of us after many an hour slaving over the sewing machine. Didn't she do a good job? We wore these to a colonial play our homeschool friends put on in August. What a wonderful evening of celebrating our nation's heritage.

Obama Insults Americans and Denigrates Himself: "Above my pay grade"

2008-08-25T12:55:00.000-07:00

See for yourself. http://www.citizenlink.org/turnsignal/A000007999.cfm Obama refuses to answer the question of at what point a baby should be afforded protection under the law, by claiming that "to answer such a theological and scientific question with any specificity would be above my pay grade".

Is this a jaw-dropper, or what? First he insults the audience by his unwillingness to answer a fundamental question, which any aspiring Presidential candidate ought to be able to answer. Then he tells us, essentially, that he is unqualified to serve as our future president, because such a question is above his pay grade!
I ask you, what IS Obama's pay grade? Banker? Janitor? Airline pilot? Certainly he should not be a legislator, or anyone involved in writing, applying or interpreting the law to a citizenry which he cannot even define.

I am reading The Obama Nation by World Net Daily Editor Jerome Corsi. I recommend it. Pick it up at WalMart or on worldnetdaily.com.

More Personal Stuff

2008-07-15T16:45:00.000-07:00

Here is my lovely daughter Alexa, about to turn 15 next Monday. We will be throwing a birthday party for her Saturday with several families splashing in the pool and eating barbecued delights. Hopefully the heat will be more moderate. John and the boys have slaved away around the pool, putting in a cement walkway and improving the landscape. Sprinkler systems and hoses are in constant need of repair and replacement, so it is taking up much of John's time.

Here also is my son Nathan with his intended. He and Colleen were engaged last Friday while overlooking the Grants Pass sunset on the end of Highland Drive. Sigh.

And then, there is my daughter Naomi with baby Boone. Naomi and Nathanael informed us Saturday that she is expecting number 2! What a perfectly blissful weekend for this grandmother!

Personal Notes

2008-06-24T22:03:00.000-07:00

I am back home with the family after two weeks spent with my mother and father while he recovered from several serious complications. I am humbled by how complicated end-of-life issues have gotten in the face of medical costs, advanced methods, a plethora of pharmaceuticals, Medicare, and insurance. It is no easy thing to decide how far one should go in using invasive measures to extend the life of the elderly. "Natural death" has become a mythological standard, and the presence of state funding encourages doctors to try heroic measures that may only cause more suffering in the long run.
I am adamantly pro-life, and have always felt that the least the doctors should do is feed and hydrate the patient to the very end, however artificially. Now I know that it is not so easy. A feeding tube may cause the patient to aspirate and vomit; an i.v. may repeatedly "fail" in fragile blood vessels, emptying its contents in the subcutaneous layer and causing great pain.
Then there is the issue of the role of the state. With the availability of Medicare, private insurance companies often refuse coverage until the state coverage has run out, leaving those (like myself) who have a principled objection to state involvement in a quandary.
There is no doubt that my dad would have expired by now without Medicare-funded intervention this month. It has allowed him another chance to prepare for the hereafter. For that I am grateful.
On the other hand, the same conditions that threatened his life (diabetes and cholesterol blockage in the vessels) remain, and he will still die from complications caused by them. His legs which were on the verge of amputation have been saved by stenting, at least for now. For how long, we don't know. He complained bitterly about his treatment in the hospital and rehab facility, though he got decent, pleasant service and they did save his life. The costs may approach $100,000 by the time all bills arrive. Was it justified?
If Medicare hadn't been available...private insurance would have kicked in. If my parents couldn't afford insurance...my dad would have stayed home, cared for by my sacrificially-loving mother, and suffered greatly in his slow, "natural" death.
We surely need an extra dose of wisdom to know how to apply Biblical principles in this modern age.

Population problem misread from start

2008-06-18T19:41:00.000-07:00

Here is an article I submitted to my local newspaper as a guest editorial. They published it Friday the 13th :).

Population “Bomb” May Not Be What You Think

By Arden Sleadd

Is the human race the “global equivalent of a swarm of locusts destroying and devouring everything in its path”, as one writer to the Courier described? I wonder, does she live in Oregon? When I look out my window I see towering 100-foot pine and fir trees between my neighbor’s acre and mine. No visions of swarming locusts, that.

Population growth has been getting a bad rap. Paul Erlich popularized the Malthusian theory that population would exceed the earth’s sustainability with his 1968 book, The Population Bomb, and since then environmentally-conscious folks have regarded humans as weeds, consumers and destroyers. Never mind the fact that nearly every prediction made in Erlich’s book failed to come true. Most notably, the “hundreds of millions of people” he predicted would die of starvation due to overpopulation in the 1970s and ‘80s, didn’t. Still, the overpopulation myth has become so embedded in our thinking that any facts to the contrary are ignored.

While it is true that population has grown more in the last century than at any other time, this is more a result of longer life spans than of high birth rates. Quality of life has improved, food production has improved (also defying Erlich’s predictions) and people are generally healthier. This is a good thing. However, it is also true that the number of children in the population has been steadily dropping. We are aging at a precipitious rate. The implications are not pretty.

While an educator, I first heard about the world’s “birth dearth” in 1988. This very real trend, also dubbed the Demographic Winter, has been gaining steam for at least three decades.

I quote from the website www.demographicwinter.com: “Worldwide, birthrates have been halved in the past 50 years. There are now 59 nations, 44% of the world’s population, with below-replacement fertility. Sometime in this century, the world’s population will begin to decline. At a certain point, the decline will become rapid. We may even reach population free-fall in our lifetimes. For some countries, population decline is already a reality. Russia is losing three-quarters-of-a-million people a year. The term ‘nuclear winter,’ popularized in the 1980s, alluded to the catastrophic environmental impact of a nuclear war. The long-term consequences of a demographic winter could be equally devastating.” (emphasis added)

Imagine a world in which 80% of the population is in retirement age, and 20% are working or in childhood. Imagine hospitals and nursing homes bursting at the seams with old people, and not enough young doctors and CNAs to care for them. Imagine thousands of old people dying in their beds and left there for days or weeks because there is so few people remaining to carry them out, or who even know they’re dead. Imagine the rampant disease that would result. Imagine ghost-towns full of McMansions going back to the coyotes. The population bomb is coming, but it may not play out the way you think.

One letter to the Courier has attempted to paint population growth as analogous to lily-pad reproduction. Since it actually takes two humans to produce one new one, this analogy presumes a human birth-rate at a constant of 4.0, or double the replacement rate, along with a death rate of zero. The truth is that population growth has proven to be linear, not exponential. The U.S. fertility rate is currently only 2.1, or just enough to maintain our current population. Western Europe’s birth rates are much more dismal—Italy is at 1.2, Spain at 1.1, and so it goes. The governments of these countries are very worried, and are offering large sums to induce women to have more children. Few are taking the carrot.

Recent data shows the primary culprit of resource waste has not been overpopulation, but family breakdown. Divorce causes one household to become two, resulting in more capital destruction and consumption, to the tune of $112 billion a year, according to a recent study. If we really care about being “green”, we could start by keeping our love alive and our marriages intact.

Not all humans behave alike. While some are over-consumers, most people learn to produce or contribute at least as much as they consume over their lifetimes. The key is training our young people to be responsible and caring, and the onus is on parents to be diligent in their training.

How should we be truly “green”? 1. Get married and stay married. 2. Have children (at least four, to make up for lost time). 3. If it’s too late for you, adopt a few. 4. Devote your life to loving and training your children (and grandchildren) to be good stewards of our planet. 5. Treat flora, fauna, and humans alike with kindness, and 6. Work sacrificially for those who cared for you.

It may not be the easy road, but it is the high road. The future of our civilization depends on it.

Arden Sleadd is a home-educator, mother of five, grandmother of one, and former school teacher. Her blog is womancomehome.blogspot.com. She and her husband founded Covered Bridge Family Ministries (www.coveredbridgefm.org). They reside in Grants Pass, OR.

Visiting my folks

2008-06-08T20:40:00.000-07:00

I am posting this blog from my mother's home an hour away from our town. My 83yo father is in the hospital with various complications due to vascular disease and diabetes. It has been touch-and-go for over a week and we still are not out of the woods. He has serious complex wounds on his feet, fighting gangrene, and his i.v.'s keeping failing. My mother has been a real trooper, trying to dress his wounds herself at home, and now is running back and forth to the hospital to make sure he eats right, etc. She is a real inspiration. I hope I learn to be half as compassionate and caring as she is.
With Father's Day coming up, I decided I needed to honor my father and spend this week here to be available and help them in whatever little ways I can. We never know how many more days we have together. John is holding down the fort at home, finishing up the last week of homeschool with the kids. God Bless him.
At age 50, family life is coming at me from both directions, as it is for my sister. Motherhood seems to only grow in its job description with the passing of time. On my plate are such things as: 1. supporting my 18yo son's courtship and developing a relationship with my prospective daughter-in-love; 2. helping my 20yo daughter as she grows in motherhood and raises my grandson; 3. raising my three left at home, including homeschooling my 11yo son, training my 14yo daughter in homemaking skills, and helping my 16yo son venture into moneymaking and career-planning; 4. being a secretary, helpmeet and hostess to my husband's pastoral work; 5. care for aging grandparents. I must remind myself that all mothers have walked this road before me and managed famously. So I will stop patting myself on the back for how much I do. It's God plan for shaping and moulding us. And what a ride it is.

Book review: Whatever Happened to Penny Candy? by Richard Maybury

2008-06-05T21:05:00.000-07:00

My good friend Robin lent me this book and my 11yo son Caleb and I have been reading it. I thought I knew something about economics, but I realized I have a lot more to learn. This is a great book. It is written in an engaging, simple style yet teaches some profound concepts. My son liked it as much as I. It is eye-opening to follow the author's exercises for determining just how much inflation is eating away your wealth and how inflation is really the government's hidden tax on people which cause us to make investment mistakes that ultimately benefit the government. I highly recommend it. It is so important for us who wish to build a family legacy to be aware of our financial status and make wise decisions.
Find out what TANSTAAFL stands for. Find out what really causes inflation. Find out why a $50,000 profit can really be an $8000 loss with inflation. Read this book!

WAHMs: Work-At-Home Mothers

2008-05-05T10:20:00.000-07:00

I got it! I'm a WAHM--a Work-At-Home Mother!
Even mothers who do not earn "money" at home are still working--full time--at home. It's time their work is valued, regardless of the lack of monetary reward.
Her reward comes when her child cuddles up beside her and gets some skin-hunger satisfied. Her reward comes when her boy says, "Mom let's go bike riding!" Her reward comes when her grandchild looks with wonder at her wrinkled face and imagines what the world was like when she was young.
Her reward comes in heaven when her children and grandchildren join her there, and her husband rises up to call her blessed. These rewards are eternal, incomparable to money and things that will burn and rust.
Just call me a WAHM--a work-at-home mom!

GOH: Guardian Of Home

2008-04-27T17:59:00.001-07:00

This is making the email rounds, but addresses an issue I want to comment on. See my comments at the end.

"JUST A MOM?"

A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk 'S office, Was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. 'What I mean is, ' explained the recorder, 'do you have a job or are you just a ...?' 'Of course I have a j ob,' snapped the woman. 'I'm a Mom.' 'We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation,
'housewife' covers it,' Said the recorder emphatically. I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself In the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, Efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, 'Official Interrogator' or 'Town Registrar.' 'What is your occupation?' she probed. What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out. 'I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.' The clerk paused, ball- point pen frozen in midair and Looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words.. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, In bold, black ink on the official questionnaire. 'Might I ask,' said the clerk with new interest,'just what you do in your field?' Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, 'I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't) In the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) And already have four credits (all daughters). Of cou rse, the job is one of the most d emanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) And I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers And the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.' There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she Completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door. As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, Testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more Distinguished and indispensable to mankind than 'just another Mom.' Motherhood! What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door. Does this make grandmothers 'Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations' And great grandmothers Executive Senior Research Associates?' I think so!!! I also think it makes Aunts
Associate Research Assistants. May your troubles be less, Your blessing be more, And nothing but happiness come through your door!
We do need a new acronym for moms. I’m working on one myself. HBWW—Home-Based Wonder Woman? MASID—Mover and Shaker In Disguise? Or maybe a CRACKWR—Cradle-Rocking Agent of Change and World Ruler. As in “she who rocks the cradle rules the world”. But no, those are all too long.
The best one I’ve come up with so far is GOH—Guardian of Home. That’s what the original Greek in the Bible (Titus 2) means when it’s variously translated “keeper of the home”, “worker at home”, etc. It really means a guardian, just as a gatekeeper guards a gate and keeps threatening robbers and strangers away.
Our jobs as guardians have become increasingly complicated with the advent of internet and other gadgetry. Negative influences find their way in right under my nose. I get lazy sometimes and don’t filter everything I should. But I keep trying.
We also guard the tenor, tone, and ambience of our home. Is it full of sweet-smelling candles and conversation; are there signs of beauty on the walls, and music to bring out the best in us? Right now, my house is characterized more by clutter than care, but it does show that life is going on in our midst, that loving ,busy beings house this place.
Does anyone have some other ideas of new names for us homemakers/keepers?

Covered Bridge Academy

2008-04-12T16:01:00.000-07:00

My husband, ever on the trail to blaze new frontiers, is launching a new project in Grants Pass, Oregon. Under the auspices of our church, www.coramdeogp.org, Covered Bridge Academy will not be a drop-off day school like other academies. This approach intends to help parents disciple and train their own children. Parents, alongside their children, will receive instruction one day a week to help them structure the rest of their academic week. If you are interested, see our website above or www.coveredbridgefm.org.

Homeschool through College

2008-04-03T15:49:00.000-07:00

The age of homeschooling through college has arrived. The last brick to come down from the brick-and-mortar monopoly--the engineering degree--has been accomplished through the good work of Jim Bartlett. High school students and college students should milk this for all it's worth and save yourself 90% on college expenses. See his website Biblicalconcourse.com, and be set free!

Another good resource for finding ways to earn college degrees at home is Brad Voeller's Accelerated Distance Learning, a book written by a homeschool graduate who used his life experiences to count as college credit. There is information on testing-for-credit, online colleges, etc. A great resource. See www.globallearningstrategies.org.

Verve Seattle Tournament

2008-03-02T08:57:00.000-08:00

My husband took our three youngest up to a Seattle speech/debate NCFCA tournament this week. I spoke on the phone with John at 10pm Saturday after winners were awarded their medals, and I’m very proud of them.

Aaron got medals in five entries, and he qualified for Regionals in every entry that he competed in. He placed 1^st in Duo Interp with Alexa, doing Elephant’s Child (whoohoo! See pics from previous post. They've won 1st place twice now.) 2^nd in Expository (on Submarines) 3^rd in Open Interpretive (with his Little Britches piece) 4^th in Persuasive (on abortion) 6^th in debate Semifinalist in Apologetics (qualified for regionals).He was also 3^rd place in the Sweepstakes! His neck must be getting sore, holding up all those medals :).

Alexa got 1^st place in Duo, 3^rd place in Apologetics, Semifinalist in Impromptu (qualified for regionals).

Our club members all got medals of one type or another. Tait Deems took 2^nd in LD!!! Dillon H took 3^rd! Dylan D took 4^th! So four of the top six LDers were from Clarion Club. Creighton and Tess got 4^th in Duo. Stephanie Emmons: 2^nd in HI; Natalie Emmons: 7^th in Apo; 8^th in OO; 8^th in Imp.Ooh this stuff is addicting!!

Aaron and Alexa's Duo

2008-01-27T15:37:00.001-08:00

Here are some photos my mother took of my son and daughter at the recent tournament. They took first place with their duo. Of course I'm very proud of them ;-) They performed a rendition of The Elephant's Child by Rudyard Kipling.

Woman Come Home

2008-01-27T15:20:00.000-08:00

Woman Come Home:

My Personal Journey from

Career Woman to Contented Homemaker

By Arden Sleadd

During my engagement to John in 1983, we watched the film series, “Focus on the Family” with Dr. James Dobson. The film was very influential in shaping how we would raise our future family. We agreed that it would be best if I were able to stay home fulltime with the children once they were born; but in the meantime, we had college debts to pay off, and John still had coursework to finish, so we delayed starting our family, and I continued to work as I had done before we married.

Our first child, Naomi, was born a month after John completed his teacher certification. He soon found his first teaching job in another state. In the weeks that we prepared to move with our newborn baby, I received a call from the school district John was about to work for, asking me to work for them as well. It entailed only one hour a day, teaching remedial math at the high school. They knew I was a certified teacher from comments John had made during his interview. I felt flattered that they would offer me a job sight unseen, and I thought, Well, one hour a day isn’t that much; I’ll still have most of my time at home..., so I accepted their offer.

A week later the phone rang again: “Would you be willing to teach a second class, in Music Theory and Piano?” Now they were really talking my language; that was in my area of certification. The one hour a day had become two hours, but that still seemed manageable, so I said yes.

Weeks later we had moved to California, away from any family members, and we were suddenly faced with the reality of finding a stranger to leave our child with every day, five days a week. I hadn’t really thought about that. We inquired among staff at the school and at the church we visited for daycare providers. While we did find some very nice Christian ladies offering daycare in their homes, we still ended up using five different caregivers in the ensuing four years.

I soon found another unintended consequence come into play, and that was related to the condition of my heart. I really enjoyed my work; I found myself drawn to the work environment. I wanted to be a good, thorough, loyal employee. So by the time I had written lesson plans, cleaned up the classroom, graded papers, and driven back and forth to daycare, I was actually away from my daughter (and later Nathan my son) for four hours a day. The one hour had stretched into four, and the daily routine of dropping them off meant they still went through the separation experience five times a week.

By the time Naomi was two years old, I began to observe some disturbing behaviors in her. She started a habit of screaming and kicking all the way home in her car seat after I picked her up. I soon learned about “separation anxiety”, and I knew instinctively that this was what Naomi was feeling. Every day I was rush-rush-rushing to get her dressed and out the door, leaving her to bond with another woman for four hours a day, only to whisk her away again, feed her lunch and put her down for a nap. She was getting the message loud and clear: my schedule, my job, my need to be someplace else, was more important to me than she was. She was feeling rejected repeatedly, day in and day out. She expressed her feelings of rejection by being uncooperative whenever I came to take her home from the babysitters. I got her message loud and clear as well: “If you reject me by dropping me off here every day, I’m rejecting you when you take me back.”

I shared my concern with John, and after some discussion about our finances, we decided that I would work for a year or two more. But two more years was as long as a lifetime to Naomi; I should have quit that very day. Our relationship was already in disrepair. Her heart—and mine—were not bonded together like they should have been.

I did finally come home to stay after the birth of Aaron, our third-born child, but the repercussions of my early mistakes followed us for many years. Naomi had learned to seek friendships outside the home and to withhold her heart from me. She will tell you that by the time she reached fourth grade she had no desire to be homeschooled (I had been homeschooling from kindergarten on). When she was eleven years old, I remember saying to John, “I’ve lost my daughter. Things are not right between us”.

Pastor S. M. Davis has produced some teaching tapes that I highly recommend. One is called “Changing the Heart of a Rebel”, and another is “Why the Devil Wants Your Firstborn”. The titles alone are powerful. If things aren’t right with the oldest child, it flows down to all the rest of the siblings and infects the whole family. Pastor Davis gave us some concrete steps that have helped us to win our children’s hearts back, and by following his advice we have largely succeeded.

I’m happy to say that as a result of my husband’s responding to the Holy Spirit in the last three years, and his repentant soft heart while he reclaimed leadership in our home, most of the “lost territory” of Naomi’s heart has been reclaimed. I am in awe at how God has worked to turn her back to us, as a result of her father doing so first. I couldn’t have done it on my own, though heaven knows I tried. It was John who had to lead before the changes could occur.

I share this with you by way of warning to you mothers, and to you young ladies as future mothers, to guard your heart carefully. I know it is possible that you could have a job outside the home and never be drawn away like I was; but how would you know ahead of time?

There is an almost seductive quality to the workplace.* I’ve had women say to me, “Oh, but I love my job,” and, “I use my job as a ministry.” Of course, you love your job! There are adults there; you can put your best face forward and look like you’ve really got it together; you get tangible rewards for your work (i.e. money) and intangible rewards as well. It strokes our egos. But that should be all the more reason to stay away from the workplace.

It is no wonder God says this in His Word, “The aged women likewise...that they may teach the young women to...love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God be not blasphemed.” (Titus 2:3-5, KJV) Those are strong words. The word in the Greek for “keeper” here means literally one who guards; the gate-keeper keeps the gate by not allowing intruders through; a home-keeper doesn’t just clean house and cook; she guards the home with her very presence. She guards it not only from intruders, but from negative influences that may invade her home; she protects the atmosphere there; she sets the tone for the home environment. She is home-centered. It would be difficult to keep a home very well while absent most of the time.

I have experienced three pitfalls that a woman risks falling into if she seeks a career outside the home.

Pitfall #1: A woman may find her own heart and loyalties become divided. Jesus said, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” (Matthew 6:21, KJV) Have you ever considered that one of your greatest treasures is your time? If you divide your time between your home and your job, you may find that your heart, and your loyalties, may be divided as well. Jesus said, “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon”—or, money.

When I worked for another boss outside the home, it was no longer my husband who called the shots for me—it was my boss. The boss determined my schedule, my vacation time, my priorities, etc. In contrast, the scriptures indicate that my husband is my lord, with a lower-case l. Sarah called Abraham “my lord,” and she was praised for it in the New Testament (1 Peter 3:6). God is our Lord with a capital L; our husbands and fathers are our lords with a lower-case l.

When you become a wife, you become your husband’s helpmate, working side by side with him to gain dominion for the Lord. But when you work for another man or woman, your loyalties are inevitably divided.

Our children’s hearts are even more tender. They’re looking for a place to camp. They will naturally bond with the daycare workers who come and go out of their lives, and their hearts will be wrenched and torn each time. Protect your children’s hearts.

Pitfall #2: the health of a woman and her children may be compromised. There are plenty of studies to show how unhealthy day care is for children; they are virtual germ factories (as are the public schools, by the way). When I was working I felt pressure to work even when my children were sick. Oftentimes I went to work anyway when they were still not fully recovered. I am convinced that my own overwork during those child-bearing years contributed to my contracting a chronic disease which I fight to this day.

Pitfall #3: the Word of God may be blasphemed. See Titus 2:5 again: we are to be keepers at home, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Other translations use the words dishonored and reviled. Do we, as women who claim the name of Christ, really want to take the risk of blaspheming God’s word? That is a heavy responsibility placed on us in this passage, but we cannot escape it. Note that Paul addresses not mothers alone, or even wives alone, but all women—young women in particular. That would include our single young ladies—of any age.

As a side note for young unmarried maidens, my advice is this: if you will learn to serve your father in your home, and seek to find delight and contentment through honoring your father, you will be much better prepared to serve your future husband. If you want to be a great wife some day, start practicing on your dad. You don’t hear that kind of advice in very many circles today; it sounds so out-of-place in our contemporary world. But there was a day when it was a foregone conclusion that young ladies sought their fathers’ company and drew strength from it. It is a biblical concept as well; honor your earthly father in every way, and your heavenly Father will greatly bless you.

I realize there are mitigating circumstances that would warrant a woman working outside her home. I don’t pretend to have all the answers. My life has been greatly blessed by women doctors, midwives, and nurses who have cared for me through childbearing and various health problems, and I am grateful to them. What I do know, is that God will not call any of us to contradict His word, and if we ask Him, He will show us the way to be obedient to it.

I find it rather puzzling to observe several homeschooling mothers, who have devoted themselves full-time all their married lives to the honorable profession of training up their children in the fear of the Lord, but who are now encouraging, even urging, their grown daughters to find careers outside the home. Why is this?

I have now been a full-time homemaker for nearly fourteen years, and I can honestly say that home is my favorite place to be. I find so much there to fulfill and stretch me as a person, as well as to minister to others. Our home has become a gathering place for other families who come into our lives, for food, fun, and fellowship. My life is rich with the fatness of joy and laughter, mixed with the hard times. There is no place I’d rather be.

So I say to you, dear mother, or young lady: Is your heart wandering? Are you looking outside the walls of your own home for fulfillment, looking for another place to camp? Or is your heart centered on home? My life is living testimony to the fact that God is able to change our hearts and give us contentment and joy unspeakable through serving our families at home. Will you trust Him to do such a work for you?

*I am not opposed to women making money at home. There is a wealth of opportunity opening up to work at home. In fact, the ideal situation is for both mothers and fathers to be able to work at home together. I realize this is not immediately doable by many, including our own family, but it is an ideal to work towards.

Resources Recommended

Changing the Heart of a Rebel, and Why the Devil Wants Your Firstborn, Dr. S. M. Davis, Teaching tapes available on cassette, CD, VHS, and DVD, www.drsmdavis.com.

Arden Sleadd is the home-educating mother of five children and grandmother of one. She assists her husband John in leading Covered Bridge Family Ministries in Grants Pass, Oregon; see www.coveredbridgefm.org. John is pastor of Coram Deo Church; see www.coramdeogp.org.