Saturday, April 24, 2010

Feminine by Design: A Great Book

Feminine by Design: the Twelve Pillars of Biblical Womanhood by Scott Brown is a must read for every woman and young lady! I got this short 85-page large-font paperback from Vision Forum and have found it expresses what I desired to share at the upcoming Mother-Daughter tea at my house in a far superior way. There are many quotes I'd like to share from this book. My favorite is Pillar 6: "A Helpmeet":
"And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.'" God designed women to be helpers, not leaders. This statement in Genesis 2:18, which makes them helpers, applies to all women. Some think the helping role applies only to married women. On the contrary, the Bible declares women to be helpers by nature, not only by marriage. This quality is part of her intrinsic constitution as a woman as Eve is the representative of all women--not just married women. In this way, a woman does not instantly become useful as a helper only when she gets married. She is a helper by nature, and a beneficial presence her whole life long...This means that parents need to specifically equip their daughters to play that role..."
Then speaking to daughters, he says:
"Since you are an unmarried daughter in your father's house, you are not the helpmeet of you father, in the same way that your mother is, but you are in training to be a most excellent helpmeet. By helping your father and mother, you are learning to someday be the helper you were designed to be."

Some might react to this teaching by saying, "But what if I NEVER get married??" But the answer is already given--you are ALREADY a helper. Continue in the role and help your father the best you can; you are of inestimable worth. You can help other women in their homes when they have a quiverful and are overwhelmed--come alongside and teach her children or do housework or use whatever gifts you can which are still home-centered.

The epilogue, written by Scott's wife Deborah, reads in part:
"Scripture indicates that the home is designed to be the central place where women glorify God. They do this through their obedience to the commands of God as they employ their gifts and fulfill their callings...Why then are we training our daughters toward a career outside the home? Why are we sending their hearts and affections in a different direction? What if we instead trained oru daughters to fulfill the biblical role of helper to a husband?...What if we truly trusted in the biblical pattern for our girls and deliberately prepared them for that and that alone?
"Is your heart overcome by fears of 'what if'? 'What if she doesn't get married? What if she has a passion for...?' 'What if her husband dies?'
When asking these questions we should remember that since the days of Adam and Eve God has taken care of mankind's fears and 'what if's. He has made provision for His people through the promises in His Word. We must trust His instructions all the while remembering that He "shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory" (Philippians 4:19
"It is for us to train our daughters after God's glorious design! It is for us to help them love the way of a woman!..."
Feminine By Design is written for teenage girls [I think it applies to all ages] to help them understand biblical femininity. Here Scott Brown explores some of the major passages of scripture that explain it. You will find the biblical texts that he used to teach his own daughters as he sought to "bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:$). His intention was to fulfill the appeal of Jesus in the Gard of Gethsemane, 'Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth."'(John 17:17)

It remains for us as mothers to properly disciple our daughters, but we must first have their hearts. It is a challenge for me to win the heart of my daughter and have her full attention, when I try to speak to these matters. Maybe I preach down to her too much. I must spend more time with her in hang-out time and just let her do the talking. She loves to do that :). I would be interested in any ideas you mothers have for others regarding winning the heart of their daughters.

Finally, a daughter must entrust her heart to her father as leader and protector of her while she is in his home. We will be giving tokens of our hearts to the daughters at the tea, along with note paper on which to write to their fathers. We will use Raising Maidens of Virtue by Stacy McDonald (another must-read) for letter-writing models.

2 comments:

Kate said...

I find that taking interest in the things that interest my girls bonds us closer together.

Knowing their "Love Language" and making sure I speak it to them (be it gifts, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service or quality time) is another way to win their hearts.

Arden Sleadd said...

Thank you Kate, for that reminder. Alexa's love language is quality time--shopping at thrift stores, and letting her talk about whatever is on her mind :). I'll schedule it in!