The cultural slide into the workplace

So I was looking at these beautiful color photos taken during the war effort in WWII, in which America's women were building warheads and airships so their men could defend the country (click below).

And I pondered the women manning the factories. I consider it unfortunate that the "emergency" conditions of wartime then became the basis for peacetime practice. Once they were in the workforce, fighting for freedom and America so the boys could serve in battle, many women saw little reason to return home. It no doubt felt more glamorous and fulfilling to be with adults in the daytime, rather than staying home with children, who showed little gratitude, made messes, and could just as easily be sent to the state babysitter-- er, I mean, public school.

I too found it difficult when my eldest two children were babies to find life at home fulfilling. I taught part-time in the public schools as a music and math teacher. I liked being around adult teachers from whom I received encouragement, and the paycheck I brought home gave tangible evidence of a job well done. It was so seductive, so appealing. At the same time, I fought feelings of guilt, that I wasn't caring for my children well. It was a miracle how God worked in my heart to bring me home with contentment. 

This link will take you to a site with more Kodachrome color photos taken during World War II.

Review: Created To Be His Help Meet by Debbie Pearl

It's been over a year since I finally read this book, so I can look back and say it has made a big difference in my marriage!  Created to be His Help Meet by Deb Pearl is a hard-hitter, pulling no punches when it comes to confronting the most common excuses we come up with as wives to justify our poor attitudes towards our husbands.

The most impacting statement in the book that has stuck with me is "You are not your husband's conscience!" That was like a sword to my heart. Here all along I thought I was his conscience, and didn't realize it! That realization alone helped me to back way off on pronouncements about my husband's plans, his time management, etc.  I realize they are not for me to correct or change. He is following the Lord, and the Lord will lead him or not, but it's not my game.

I have often tried to protect our family from lack of attention and time on his part, to a fault. Rather than ask questions, I have made pronouncements and judgements. Of course they were not well-received due to the spirit with which I made them. While there are some things I would still like to change, I am so deeply in love with my husband, who for 27 years has faithfully provided for me and has never been at lack for a well-paying job; who has stood by my side through 20 years of illness; who has aggressively led our family in spiritual endeavors and fun-filled adventures. Who am I to complain?

Deb Pearl has pointed out that a man's basic needs really are not so much to whine about. He just wants warm food for his belly, warm clothes for his back, and a warm partner in bed. Is it really so much to ask?

Pearl also addresses the hyper-spiritualizing trends among women today which are not grounded in scripture, calling it the spirit of Jezebel. She paints our lives as women in very practical, down-to-earth terms. Those women who aspire to great heights of spirituality are causing their own discontentment, when a few minutes a day of prayer and Bible study should be sufficient. Grow up, move on, give your man good sex, he's not a pervert. (She also addresses perversion where it is real.) What is the essence of being a true helpmeet if it is not to actually help?

There is one caveat I would offer. Some of her micro-descriptions of male types don't quite ring true. Take them for what they're worth. Her general observations on types are helpful if you don't carry them too far; they are, after all, generalizations.

There is more excellent advice on modesty, childcare, cooking, etc. On the whole, Created to Be His Help Meet is a keeper worth multiple frequent readings and may in time be regarded as a classic in Christian literature. While the issues addressed are especially relevant to our day, those issues have tempted and plagued women throughout history.

Feminine by Design: A Great Book

Feminine by Design: the Twelve Pillars of Biblical Womanhood by Scott Brown is a must read for every woman and young lady! I got this short 85-page large-font paperback from Vision Forum and have found it expresses what I desired to share at the upcoming Mother-Daughter tea at my house in a far superior way. There are many quotes I'd like to share from this book. My favorite is Pillar 6: "A Helpmeet":
"And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.'" God designed women to be helpers, not leaders. This statement in Genesis 2:18, which makes them helpers, applies to all women. Some think the helping role applies only to married women. On the contrary, the Bible declares women to be helpers by nature, not only by marriage. This quality is part of her intrinsic constitution as a woman as Eve is the representative of all women--not just married women. In this way, a woman does not instantly become useful as a helper only when she gets married. She is a helper by nature, and a beneficial presence her whole life long...This means that parents need to specifically equip their daughters to play that role..."
Then speaking to daughters, he says:
"Since you are an unmarried daughter in your father's house, you are not the helpmeet of you father, in the same way that your mother is, but you are in training to be a most excellent helpmeet. By helping your father and mother, you are learning to someday be the helper you were designed to be."

Some might react to this teaching by saying, "But what if I NEVER get married??" But the answer is already given--you are ALREADY a helper. Continue in the role and help your father the best you can; you are of inestimable worth. You can help other women in their homes when they have a quiverful and are overwhelmed--come alongside and teach her children or do housework or use whatever gifts you can which are still home-centered.

The epilogue, written by Scott's wife Deborah, reads in part:
"Scripture indicates that the home is designed to be the central place where women glorify God. They do this through their obedience to the commands of God as they employ their gifts and fulfill their callings...Why then are we training our daughters toward a career outside the home? Why are we sending their hearts and affections in a different direction? What if we instead trained oru daughters to fulfill the biblical role of helper to a husband?...What if we truly trusted in the biblical pattern for our girls and deliberately prepared them for that and that alone?
"Is your heart overcome by fears of 'what if'? 'What if she doesn't get married? What if she has a passion for...?' 'What if her husband dies?'
When asking these questions we should remember that since the days of Adam and Eve God has taken care of mankind's fears and 'what if's. He has made provision for His people through the promises in His Word. We must trust His instructions all the while remembering that He "shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory" (Philippians 4:19
"It is for us to train our daughters after God's glorious design! It is for us to help them love the way of a woman!..."
Feminine By Design is written for teenage girls [I think it applies to all ages] to help them understand biblical femininity. Here Scott Brown explores some of the major passages of scripture that explain it. You will find the biblical texts that he used to teach his own daughters as he sought to "bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:$). His intention was to fulfill the appeal of Jesus in the Gard of Gethsemane, 'Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth."'(John 17:17)

It remains for us as mothers to properly disciple our daughters, but we must first have their hearts. It is a challenge for me to win the heart of my daughter and have her full attention, when I try to speak to these matters. Maybe I preach down to her too much. I must spend more time with her in hang-out time and just let her do the talking. She loves to do that :). I would be interested in any ideas you mothers have for others regarding winning the heart of their daughters.

Finally, a daughter must entrust her heart to her father as leader and protector of her while she is in his home. We will be giving tokens of our hearts to the daughters at the tea, along with note paper on which to write to their fathers. We will use Raising Maidens of Virtue by Stacy McDonald (another must-read) for letter-writing models.