August 2011: Burning feet and household improvements

Boy, oh boy, I have been so negligent to post! I am embarrassed to even try to catch things up, but I will persevere. It has been a scorcher of a month, in more ways than one, for me. My health problems escalated last month and I ended up in ER twice in two days, but I am stabilized again. God continues to show me new insights into his goodness. I have feasted on His word this summer through a study of I Peter and through scripture memory inspired by the Bible Bee program (biblebee.org), and it was just what I needed to weather the storm of my health challenges. For the umpteenth time I am on another treatment that I HOPE will solve all my problems, but I must remember that my hope is in the Lord.

John has again outdone himself this summer, making the rec room library more beautiful with new floor, paint, a/c unit, trim, window, etc. The laundry room also has a new floor, and the backyard pond has gotten a new rock wall and cement spillway.

The exterior of the house was completely repainted by our friend Lloyd. Everything is so nice! The swimming pool also has a new pump/filter, and I have been eating my complaining words about the cost as I have used it several weeks for my exercise when the Y pool was too hot for my burning feet. I have kept a few vegetables producing in the garden in spite of my need to stay out of the heat. God has been too good to me, far more than I deserve.

A health update

There I lay, face down on the mattress, unable to move. At least I had dried myself off. I called out to Alexa. No answer. I called out John, and he heard me. What a relief!
The Lord has been gracious to provide my husband within calling range two of the three times this has happened since Memorial Day.

So while laid up in bed I have had lots of time to read; I read Waiting for a Miracle and Trapped in Hitler’s Hell by Jan Markell. The first book is written by a woman with the same condition I have (CFS, EBV). I recommend it to anyone who wants to understand chronic illness better. It’s the first book I’ve found that gets the spiritual side of it right.
The second book about a Jew-turned-Christian in WWII helps keep my state in perspective. I live in such luxury here in our beautiful home with people who love and serve me. No one is forcing me to get up at 4 am to work in the wind or heat for 10 hours a day. I have all the medical help known to man available to me. The fact that I’m sitting up and able to type for now is good. John never complains when I need prescriptions picked up, or a back rub for the knotted muscles, or just his presence for comfort. He and the children are running the household quite well without me. I also have been sleeping better since doubling the dose of my sleeping pills, but the sleep has not been sufficiently restorative.

I can’t help but think our Hawaii anniversary trip next month will not be possible, but I’m trying to take one day at a time. I am more and more aware of God’s presence around, in and about me, sustaining my every breath. He doesn’t just know me, he permeates me with his Spirit. As long as I keep that in mind, I can hand over to Him every discouraging thought with the rejoinder, “Jesus is here and He saves now!” I have much to be thankful for.

Personal Notes

I am back home with the family after two weeks spent with my mother and father while he recovered from several serious complications. I am humbled by how complicated end-of-life issues have gotten in the face of medical costs, advanced methods, a plethora of pharmaceuticals, Medicare, and insurance. It is no easy thing to decide how far one should go in using invasive measures to extend the life of the elderly. "Natural death" has become a mythological standard, and the presence of state funding encourages doctors to try heroic measures that may only cause more suffering in the long run.
I am adamantly pro-life, and have always felt that the least the doctors should do is feed and hydrate the patient to the very end, however artificially. Now I know that it is not so easy. A feeding tube may cause the patient to aspirate and vomit; an i.v. may repeatedly "fail" in fragile blood vessels, emptying its contents in the subcutaneous layer and causing great pain.
Then there is the issue of the role of the state. With the availability of Medicare, private insurance companies often refuse coverage until the state coverage has run out, leaving those (like myself) who have a principled objection to state involvement in a quandary.
There is no doubt that my dad would have expired by now without Medicare-funded intervention this month. It has allowed him another chance to prepare for the hereafter. For that I am grateful.
On the other hand, the same conditions that threatened his life (diabetes and cholesterol blockage in the vessels) remain, and he will still die from complications caused by them. His legs which were on the verge of amputation have been saved by stenting, at least for now. For how long, we don't know. He complained bitterly about his treatment in the hospital and rehab facility, though he got decent, pleasant service and they did save his life. The costs may approach $100,000 by the time all bills arrive. Was it justified?
If Medicare hadn't been available...private insurance would have kicked in. If my parents couldn't afford insurance...my dad would have stayed home, cared for by my sacrificially-loving mother, and suffered greatly in his slow, "natural" death.
We surely need an extra dose of wisdom to know how to apply Biblical principles in this modern age.